Sarah's Soap Worthy Life!

A new me? The old me reappearing? Hmmmmm

2012-01-25T14:33:00.002-06:00

Ok so I mentioned the really great conversation I had with Ryan at Barnes & Noble. Unfortunately no email from him. How disappointing! There is also a guy that I've been the smitten kitten for named Adam. Now why I think this guy is so awesome I'm really not sure but he is quite the sweetheart. He's a pharmacy tech at the Walgreens Princess Bear (PB) and I use all the time. There is another tech there named Mark who is also a complete sweetie and they both really help out above & beyond. Last week when PB was finally released from the hospital I dropped her off at home & went to Walgreens to drop off some prescriptions that needed to be filled. Hit HyVee for some soft mushy food that might entice PB into eating and then went back to Walgreens. There were problems with both of the scripts. Adam knew that I was beyond exhausted so he got on the phone & refused to leave anymore messages attempting to sort out the problem but stayed on hold & demanded answers. Mark helped out as well and they got both problems fixed. I was so grateful! I bought them each a $15 gift card to Barnes and Noble (actually why I went in there on Friday!).

I was in Walgreens 3 times yesterday. I don't even remember why the first time. The second it was to drop off a script for PB so she might be able to avoid an emergency room trip next time she breaks out in hives big time. I worked yesterday afternoon and didn't leave until around 7pm. I saw that Adam's car was still at Walgreens so I went in to pick up the scripts. If nothing else I can always count on Adam to make me smile! I told him I wasn't sure if B&N was an ok gift card for the two of them. He then kind of shushed me up because they can get into trouble for such things. He did say that it was so kind of me and I really didn't have too. He was joking around that I keep PB sick so I can come see him. Well no but its about the only nice thing about her being sick! So I went out to the car and got ready to leave and the brave me came out again. I wrote a note asking him about some coffee he had told me about & asked him to call or text me. Well so far nothing and thats ok. If he does he does and if not so be it.

What I'm more curious about is this brave side of me that is showing all of a sudden. I don't know what has caused this to come out but I'm kind of liking it. I used to be so confident, bold and pretty impulsive. I'm not sure when that part of me went undercover but it has. My friend Susie was the one who reminding me of this. I keep on thinking, racking my brain for some sort of plan so PB and I can get our own place. I still want a little place in the country and am thinking about doing some dog breeding. Not to worry I'm such an animal lover no mini puppy mill here. I'm thinking of having some breeds that cross well with poodles so they are good for kids with allergies like PB. Airedales, Austrian shephards, Bernese Mountain Dogs and my all time favorite English Springer Spaniels!

I also I've been pretty buried in my Christian Kane CD. There is a song on there called: Something's Gotta Give HERE to listen

Here are the lyrics. They reflect how I'm feeling at this point in time.

Faded dreams and blue jeans
A Rangers cap with sweat rings
There’s a hole in the sole of my favorite boots
Well I’ve been at it a long time
Working on that bottom line
And every shirt I’ve worn, the collar’s been blue

One of these days I’m gonna jump off that shelf
Hit that ground runnin’
At least that’s what I keep tellin’ myself

Chorus.
I’ve been sitting on the fence for way too long
Warmin’ that bench as chance moves on
And believe me that ain’t the way to live
And this barely getting by is really getting old
And it’s hard to turn the wrench on a rusty bolt
But someday, somethin’s gotta give

Busted hands and broken land
Black gold turned to sand
And the whiskey is the only well that’s running deep
And the dust devils dancing on the mesa again
At the mercy of that west Texas wind
The tumble weeds they seem to know more than me

They always find their way right out of town
They never turn back
They keep on rollin’ and they don’t slow down

Man its been a long time!

2012-01-23T13:59:00.002-06:00

Wow! I really forget how much I love the release of writing things down! :) The blog had been going on wonky on me for months and months. Our computer had been having problems too so I thought it was all related. Nope it just took one of those 2am a-ha moments to figure it out! Then with the holiday craziness and Princess Bear being ill things were a bit crazy. She finally returned to school after being gone since the beginning of December. Thats another post all on its own.

Today I really am doing some thearuptic writing. I stopped in at Barnes & Noble the other night. I had to grab a couple of gift cards to for our Pharmacy techs who have always been great but even more so lately. I also grabbed a copy of Backwoods Home Magazine. Since I was there I was grabbing a copy of Christian Kane's CD. The guy in the music/video section told me I had to check out there but he'd hold my things until I was done. I hate that policy but it turned out to my advantage. The guy in the CD/video department was named Ryan and cute in a very non-assuming way. He made a comment on my Backwoods Home Magazine and proceeded to have an incredibly cool conversation. We seem to have a whole lot in common. As I was talking to him & kept on thinking that I hadn't had an intelligent stimulating conversation with a guy in G-d only knows how long. As I walked away he called after me "It was really nice talking to you". I kept on replaying the conversation with him in my head thinking that it was so odd that I'd felt so connected in such a short period of time. I was also really amazed how similar our views seem. SO being oh so bold, which isn't like me AT ALL (anymore) I grabbed the phone and called Barnes & Noble. I asked for Ryan and told him I was the one in there a bit ago and gave him the exact address for Backwoods Home Magazine and told him again how much I enjoyed talking to him. He said he'd really enjoyed it too. I then got even braver and told him that it wasn't a come on (well not really!) and asked if he did Facebook. He said no he didn't. What???? Then I said I was going to give him my email addy for that and he just said he'd grab my email. WooHoo! I started to give it to him and he said he had to grab a piece of paper. So I gave him my email addy and........

have heard absolutely nothing! :( I can't even tell you how bummed I am. It was also a bit loud on both sides of the coversation so I don't know if he got the info correct but at this point I'm not so positive. I did go back to B&N today because, hey it is one of my favorite places to drop money after all! I've been playing around with buying the book Tomatoland and also want the first season of Haven. So I looked for Haven & asked if Ryan was working. I think I might have just taken myself into stalker territory. The woman started answering that Ryan wasn't there at all today and wouldn't be until and stopped. Ugh!

So in short I've realized a few things
a)slipping into stalker territory is beyond easy to do
b)intelligent conversation is one of the sexiest things ever (well I knew that but this was just a big reminder!)
c)that Barnes and Noble can very well be my downfall. I want to win the lotto so I can just have a field day!

Ok so I'm going to stop ruminating and get to some cleaning. Hopefully I'll be posting with much greater regularity. I have lots of stuff to talk about! Happy New Year!

Sarah

OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!

2011-12-29T15:38:00.003-06:00

I FINALLY figured out what was wrong with my blog & why it would go wonky every time I logged in for the past several months!!!!!!!!!!! It was like the bloody thing was hijacked! I was so bummed because I couldn't post or catch up on blogs on my blog list! I'm back baby!!!!!!!!!!! Ok- more to come- I've got to vacuum & get ready to babysit my nephews. OH YEAH! Doing the happy dance!!! Now back to our regularly scheduled programming! :)

Sarah

Again- Fall how I love you!

2011-07-23T16:16:00.002-05:00

Ok- I know that this is a status update thats going around Facebook like wildfire

I was going to complain about the heat, but 1) It isn't 109 degrees. 2) I'm not 5,700 miles from home. 3) I'm not dressed in a full BDU uniform and helmet while carrying 70+ lbs. 4) There is very little chance that anyone will shoot at me or that I might drive over a bomb in the road today. Thank you to all who serve.

And I COMPLETELY agree with the sentiment behind it. Honestly since my days of working for the Navy as a civilian I have had a HUGE amount of respect for our men and women in the armed forces. Actually it was probably before my Great Lakes days that attitude was firmly implanted. I often have issues with whatever President happens to be serving at that time but I ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS have the upmost resprect for those serving in the military; especially for those deployed. I know deployment is often a very lousy time for those serving. I also will NEVER understand those who give service members a hard time because they don't agree with X war or Y conflict. They are doing what they were ordered to do. Nothing more nothing less. Its their job just as your job is whatever it its. I'm willing to bet you don't always agree with what your boss wants you to do.

Anyway back to the Facebook status while I really do understand the sentiment and am incredibly thankful to those serving I also really don't want to feel like I'm a wimp or a heartless wretch because I'm longing for cooler weather. I love fall. If you've followed my blog for awhile its pretty evident that Fall is my favorite season. I love everything that goes along with Fall. The back to school preparations, the harvest and all that goes along with it (hopefully some sort of putting by food this year!) and the upcoming cooler weather. I love and really miss bonfires. Man its been a LONG time since I've been to a good bonfire. There is something about still wearing shorts and a sweatshirt and sitting with your favorite drink by a raging bonfire. Right now I'm having a flashback to a bonfire I went to my freshman year of college and I decided to "feed" the bonfire from my bottle of vodka. I will never say that common sense prevails especially when drinking! The bonfire was at my friend Devin's house (actually his parents house) and they lived out in the country in Pekin and owned a bar in town. That meant we had a great source for alcohol and lots of land to enjoy. Unfortunately the police in Pekin are real a**holes. Seriously- ask anyone who grew up around here! Anyway, at the said bonfire I was all of 18 (and had just turned 18 a few weeks into my freshman year thanks to a late birthday) and was drunk as a skunk. For some reason I thought splashing vodka in the fire was great fun and Devin has never been able to tell me no. Next thing I know I see the flashing red & blue lights announcing the police arrival. Most of the attendants of the bonfire took off running into the woods. Whether I was stupid, drunk or a combination thereof I just casually put my bottle down and stood there. The police came up and talked to Devin and then asked me a few questions. One of the officers actually thanked me for not running and told me that I should just head home. Um ok sir. Yes my drunk happy ass drove home. Not intelligent and definitely something I hope I wouldn't do now.

Ok- now that you've shared a walk down memory lane with me lets go back to my love of fall. Yesterday Princess Bear (PB) and I were in HyVee grabbing a few things. I love HyVee because they also carry some magazines that aren't carried at too many other locations like Country, Country Extra and Farm & Ranch Living. The new copy of Country Sampler is out and full of Fall decorating ideas and whatnot. Yes I was all a twitter! I was reading Farm & Ranch Living and there was a picture of this gorgeous front porch that was decorated for fall & I was in love! I want that front porch. You know the one- rockers with a table inbetween so you can put your glass of lemonade or sweet tea on it. Some random pumpkins placed about and Halloween decor decorating the front of the house.

I'm actually making a couple of decorated notebooks for a few different purposes. I'm going to start a gratitude journal. How can you not be more appreciative when you are finding something to be grateful for daily? I'm also doing an Awws & Ah's Inspiration notebook. It will most likely contain various quotes I find inspiring and pictures like this porch that remind me of my future dreams. Also pictures of just flat out adorable things. If you read First (for Women) magazine the last few pages that are typically cute animal pics are the kind of thing I'm talking about. Things I can look at and smile. Just like the picture I printed that has the picture of the boxer sitting in the drivers seat of a car with the caption reading "FINE! I'll drive myself to the dog park" OK- imagine that and tell me you aren't laughing!!!

Ok I'm so kind I just went and found the pic (and a few other for you!). Enjoy! Smile! Hell- give a giggle! :)

Oh how I miss Fall!

2011-07-20T15:17:00.002-05:00

Okay- I am fully aware that I should be enjoying this time that my daughter has off of school and my garden is blooming. I just find it difficult when the heat just zaps the life out of you. It has been awful here for several days and its going to be several more before it lets up enough to be noticeable. Princess Bear (PB) can't control her body temperature and overheats in normal weather let alone what is going on now. Of course if we had our big pool we'd be loving life. PB does have a 6' round inflatable pool. She loves it. I went in it with her the other day and have since had a problem with this bite like things so I'm leery of putting her back in there. She was supposed to have her first horseback riding show with CIRT (the place she goes for horseback riding therapy) tomorrow. There is no way that can happen. She is doing vacation bible school this week and next week. The one this week is completely new to her. Its at the church her tutor is part of. So far she likes it a lot. Its a lot of bang for my buck too. The 5 days cost $20. Each night dinner is provided for the kids and the last night for the whole family. She's also received a bracelet, T-shirt and a CD of songs that they play daily. The VBS that starts on Sunday is one that she's going to for the past 2 years and they are really good with her & she really enjoys it.

I'm also trying to come up with some things for us to do that are fun but not going to break the bank. I'm going to put all of the ideas I come up with on slips of paper. I'm going to have PB decorate a jar and then we'll put the slips in there. After she does her "schoolwork" and cleaning we'll pull a slip from the jar. Now I just need to come up with some good ideas!

Things are a bloomin'!

2011-07-15T15:01:00.006-05:00

I know I shouldn't be surprised but after not really paying much attention to the garden for a week because of Princess Bear (PB) being sick and then me going down the same rod but its amazing how much happens in a garden in a week!!!! Here are some pics:

Take a look at the right hand side of the photo- the muskmelon vine is growing up the air conditioner unit and over some tomato cages my dad threw down! It's alive!!!!

The eggplants are growing HUGE leaves but no flowers yet. The peppers are doing well. We've already harvested several sweet banana peppers.

Yes there are LOTS of tomato plants. I'm hoping to can some ketchup and spaghetti sauce! Ignore the weeds in the walkway!

The brussel sprouts are doing well. Broccoli and cabbage are doing ok (again- ignore the weeds!!!)

The basil is growing like gangbusters! I need to get some fresh tomatoes from the farmers market because mine aren't near ready and a bit of fresh mozzerella and yum!

The downside is that the Japanese beetles are everywhere. I'm not joking it was almost a biblical proportion infestion. We set out a few of the phernome (?) traps. I also went out there and hand picked them off the apple trees. A cup of beetles anyone???

eee gads!

2011-07-09T01:07:00.003-05:00

Ok- so its been a long time- again! I do admit that most of my summertime time goes to Princess Bear (PB). As we speak we are having a near historic moment in our little family. This is the 2nd (count 'em folks!), 2nd night since she was born that I have spent away from PB. We had some serious bug go through the house in the past week. My mom was the first down and then PB went down on Monday. Poor baby felt so bad about throwing up in the sink. She knows mommy is a sympathetic puker but the sink I can deal with! My dad was hit on Tuesday night and I was midday Wednesday. I actually called my mom at work & told her if I ever found out who shared this with her to bring it home would die a slow painful death- and I was pretty damn serious at the time. It also make me very happy that I had taken PB to my sisters for a family dinner and fireworks on Sunday since Monday was an obvious no go. It was neat driving back into town and across the bridge- we saw 5 different sets of community fireworks. So I spent most of Wednesday and Thursday just knocked out. For some reason this hit me the worse out of the four of us. I wound up with the highest temp and general icks. I was not happy. So this morning I decided that my still naseous butt that has a tendancy to get car sick WAS NOT going to sit in the car for 3 hours to get to Chicago for my cousins wedding. I'm bummed because there are family members I'd really like to see but not if I was going to be wishing for death. So around noon today my parents and PB left for Chicago. Know what I didn't know? How absolutely sweet my daughters voice is on the phone! She called around 6pm tonight to give me the rundown and again at 11pm. So far it seems like everyone is still alive and coping relatively well. My dad's stomach bug is biting him again but my momm hasn't threatened PB within an inch of her life so I'm happy.

Once again our pool plans have been foiled by a malicous bitch. I found out without a doubt who called us into the city last time. There was no reason for it other than she was a mean hearted bitch. Well PB was having too much pleasure playing in her new pool. Although we'd been cleared for a permit the laws changed and the old witches daughter (who is trying to sell the witches house) decided to call the city again. The city guy felt so bad. He actually implied that we should take it down so he could take a pic showing the dismantled pool and then put it back up. Yeah- does he know how much the water bill was after filling a 5000 gallon pool was???? So now the grass is slowing dying due to a vinegar bath at this womans house. Yes I know its childish and not going to solve anything but in an odd way it made me feel a bit better. They didn't have to hold my child after going for her last swim while she was crying asking what she could do for the rest of the summer. I don't believe that this woman who doesn't even live in this town called this "violation" in. Once again let me tell you that it is IMPOSSIBLE to get into our backyard, ergo the pool. Our neighbors to one side felt so bad. The husband is in the family construction business and promptly gave my dad the name & number of an electrician so we could get the required electric source and he's looking for some economical source of 4' fencing for the entire yard.

So that has been the last week in my life. I'm about tired- why I don't know! I've spent tonight catching up on In Plain Sight and Burn Notice. I guess my body is telling me to take it easy. So take it easy I will. More about PB's horseback riding therapy and tutoring soon!

I'm tired darn it!

2011-06-22T10:55:00.002-05:00

My mom is back on this kick that I have to get up at 5:30am before she & my dad leave for work. UGH! She forgets a)I'm a night owl and b)I have insomnia! Again, UGH!

So today I got up at 5:30am and folded some laundry and then played on facebook for a bit. I have a very unhealthy obsession with Frontierville going on. Then I took a nap. now I'm almost feeling human.

Yesterday was another day of general chaos because of this new medical issue Princess Bear (PB) has going on. PB & I had to be at my sisters early (ok 9:15 but in the summer that's early for us!) to watch my nephews. That is an interesting adventure under the best of circumstances. I would not saying yesterday was the best of circumstances! lol Everyone was alive & well when I left & the kids had fun so I guess that's the important part right?

While I was at my sisters I called PB's Dr's office since I had some questions after having some time to absorb the Dr's news. I also needed to talk to the Dr since PB's endocrinologist has left the Children's hospital in St. Louis. I asked the nurse what the TgAb number for PB was. 1034 now to give you some perspective the normal range is 0-20. My daughter is at 1034! My mom was like no they had to have read that wrong call back. I called back- check this (honestly its times like this that I think my life is a secretly taped episode of Punk'd). I told the nurse that I needed to get a test result number for my daughter because I was sure I'd written it down wrong or misunderstood it. The nurse actually says "No I'm pretty sure you didn't if its the result I'm thinking of". Ok now you have to understand that the peditrician group that PB goes to is HUGE! There are 10 providers and its one of the biggest practices in town. This nurse remembers me calling back 4 hours later because the test result is SO abnormal- yep thats always a good sign- NOT!!!!!!!! And yes folks I had the number right the first time. This morning I was on the phone with the endocrinology dept at St. Louis Children's hospital as soon as they opened. Their first available appointment is.........

Are you ready for this?

December 19!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh yes I always treasure the thought of a 3 hour Midwestern drive (each way) less than a week before Christmas. The scheduler told me that this appointment was open because of a cancellation otherwise we'd have to wait until February. UGH!

Ok since I'm just done at this point I'm going to sign off. I'm going to go look at my garden. I can't really check it because we're obviously in the middle of monsoon season here in Illinois. I never really knew we had a monsoon season here but we're having rain daily and the high today isn't even 70. PB keeps asking when she can go swimming- its looking like next week baby girl! The rain is of course helping the garden but its also flooding the walkways between the aisles so unless I want to be ankle deep in water and muck I just look at my garden from a few feet away!

Trying to remain calm

2011-06-20T18:08:00.002-05:00

Ever have one of those moments you just want to sit down and cry or go outside and scream or trade your life in for the one behind door number 2? I'm so there at the moment.

Issue 1
I found out earlier today that my former best friend is pregnant. I never thought she would keep me shut out of her life like this & at this point I don't know if I'm hurt or pissed. I feel a bit like an island.

Issue 2
Princess Bear (PB) has been complaining of being cold a lot. Since this is a child that has issues regulating her body temp regarding heat this seemed a bit weird. My mom finally said that I had to take PB in for a blood test. That was last Thursday. I've been going a bit crazy waiting for the results of the sleep study but didn't think there was much to be concerned about. Well, the Dr. looked at the rash PB got from the adhesive used in the sleep study and said that its an allergy waiting to happen and we need to treat it like an allergy. That means no band aids or anything sticky. This might make future tests & surgeries very interesting. Then he ordered a TON of blood work focusing on her thyroid. That freaked me out a bunch of different ways since we basically just got my sister healthy. At this point thyroids make me a bit nervous. The Dr. called with the test results on Friday and said everything looked great. I thanked him and went on my merry little way. Since then there have been several occasions that PB complained of being cold. I was talking to my mom about it and she thought I needed to call the peditrician to see if we should go back to the endocrinologist in St. Louis & touch base. Ugh- not my idea of a good time but ok. We got home and there were 2 messages. PB's best friend called and the peditrician left a message asking me to return his call that they had the last of the blood work in. My dad & I just looked at each other & shared an "oh shit" look. The Dr. called back and explained that PB is testing positive for thyroid antibodies which means although her thyroid is ok now it will fail at some point in time. He wants me to get an appointment in St. Louis ASAP. I really had hoped with PB's growth issues seeming to level out that we had escaped the threat of having to have PB put on growth hormones. Now that is a front and center reality again. How much more is my poor baby going to have to deal with????

Now I'm off to make her dinner and then I'll try to decide between screaming and crying.

No more birthday parties!

2011-06-16T12:45:00.002-05:00

Princess Bear (PB) turned 8 last Saturday. I'd been on a housecleaning binge for a week because we were having her first birthday party at home in 5 years. I sent invitations to the kids in her class (there 8 kids including PB), invited a friend of hers that used to go to her school, my friend Maria's 2 kids and my nephews. Its awfully hard to plan a birthday party when you have absolutely NO idea how many kids are coming! Although the invitations had RSVP only 1 child from class did! There was also talk between PB & her friends that it was going to be a pool party. Um yeah- I don't think so! So I even sent a note to the parents saying that it was not going to be a pool party & it had my number on it- still no RSVP's! The day of the party was somewhat chaotic mostly due to my mom's usual toxicity but that was to be expected right??? I had asked them for very little help prepping the house & managed to pay for almost all of it. My mom paid for the balloons to get inflated and the birthday cake. I covered everything else. It was a horse/cowgirl theme because PB is obsessed with horses- big time! One child showed up 20 minutes early. That wasn't too bad except my mom totally freaked. I had several crafts for the kids to do since the physical abilities of the kids greatly varied. Note to self: NO CRAFTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The mom's wound up doing the crafts! It did get a bit crazy with kids all over and chowing down on cupcakes. About 2 hours in I told my mom that we had to have some way to wrap it it because I was going to go crazy.

I then spent time on Saturday and Sunday finishing planting the plants we had purchased into the garden. We're at 23 tomatoes, 3 watermelon, 2 muskmelon, spaghetti squash, 7 fairytale eggplant, 4 various peppers, 4 broccoli, 2 cabbage and various herbs. I think I need to get some more herbs. PB and I also started pole beans, sunflowers and 2 varieties of pumpkins the other day.

PB also had a sleep study test on Tuesday night. That is a post of its own so check back!

Summertime, Summertime, Sum...sum...summertime!

2011-06-03T18:23:00.002-05:00

Yes, folks summer is almost upon us!!! WOOHOO!!! Now for those who know me and know I'm not a fan of the summer in general might be scratching your heads and pondering a bit but why should I ever make sense???? Now my biggest grip with the summer is the heat & humidity that is ever present here in the midwest. It is oppressive! Now there are a lot of things about the summer I really do like- having Princess Bear home (for the most part!), gardening, swimming, sleeping in, gardening and swimming. A few things have happened at home this past week to make things seem a bit better! My dad was finally able to work the dirt enough to till it. I'm hoping to set up a permanent bed/mulch border with floral border thing in the next week. I've also got PB's swimming pool set up! Its filling with water as we speak! Its plenty big at 15' so mommy is going to be floating on a raft reading some magazines! Ugh....I hear strange sounds coming from the kitchen- more to follow! :)

General Musings

2011-05-26T10:29:00.003-05:00

Ok- this is going to be a very random post & blurps on lots of little topics- sorry about that!

We've been having some nasty weather here in the midwest lately. Sunday night the horrible tornados ripped through Joplin MO leaving more than 100 dead and we spent part of the evening in the basement. Princess Bear (PB) has a huge tendency to freak out when its time to hit the basement when the tornado sirens go off. I'm the only one in the house that is scared of storms. She'll actually sit on the front porch swing with my parents and watch storms. Those tornado sirens go off though and the kid starts to freak. I've tried explaining to her that going to the basement is just a way to make sure we're safe & nothing calms her down. Ugh! Then yesterday we had a storm come rolling through here unlike anything I've seen since living in AL or NC. It was just sheets of rain that left NO visability. There actually wasn't a lot of lightning or thunder. Just a lot of wind and rain. My parents & PB were on the porch watching things. Next thing I know the power in the house cuts out. Now we have some dumb a$$ squirrels around here that can't figure out transformer boxes aren't their friends and there was a similar boom when a transformer blows. I started getting out candles and checking our flashlights. I called Ameren to let them know the power was out. Then I got my dinner that was 3/4 of the way through heating in the microwave when the power blew and ate. By then my parents & PB came in and PB started to freak. The last time we had any sort of power outage was in the dead of winter and it was damn cold! Luckily we have a fireplace and plenty of wood so it wasn't much of a problem. Unfortunately that is what PB immediately things of when the power goes out. So my mom & dad did some family reading time with her & read a few chapters of the TumTum & Nutmeg book they're currently reading. Then PB tried finding things to play with. Littlest Pet Shops? Little itty bitty pieces everywhere as we're quickly losing daylight? Um, nope don't think so. Ball? nope candles everywhere. So we colored and did magnet board pics for awhile but boredom settled in quickly. I also found out that reading my flashlight makes for odd shadows that can be headache producing if you aren't careful! So I'm going to be hitting some garage sales looking for some camping laterns. Since I want to do some backyard camping with PB that will be handy anyway. I also realize that PB is WAY reliant on electricty as I am. Fortunately give me a book and I can kill time anywhere. I've been reading Laura Ingals Wilder to PB and reminded her that this is how Laura & Mary lived with Ma & Pa every day- it didn't consol her!

Now since I'm a TV junkie here is a quick recap of my thoughts on last weeks season finales!
Castle- WTF????? Ok I LOVE me some Max Martini & really hate seeing him as a bad guy. Beyond that the Captain was the bad guy? So didn't see that coming! Castle telling Kate he loved her after she's been shot? Thats some timing for you! Ugh! Now the show can't go on if she is dead so its a given she isn't so what happens now???
NCIS- No huge surprises here until the very end of the show. Who is slipping secrets???? I don't like that Zeva has gotten back together with Ray but what can you do. I also don't like that they killed Franks off but it was well done. Kort needs to be b%#ch slapped- just my opinion
NCIS LA- ok I didn't catch season 1 of this but still like the show. I loved the part when G, Sam, and Kenzie were turning in theire shields and weapons. Deacs is the last one and says "I would if I could". I love when he flips those out there like that!
Criminal Minds- ok- how many times is Joe Montenga's (?) daughter going to guest star? Other than that I waited the whole freaking episode for JJ to show up. Seems as though they're bringing her back which is awesome! Now they just need to catch Doyle and get Prentiss out of hiding!
The Mentalist- Ok my new favorite TV line is from this just because for a week I've thought about it and laughed each time! Lisbon is trying on her bridesmaid dress and of course its what we all would hate to wear as bridesmaids- pink and strapless! Jane walks in and then is telling her how she looks great and says "You look like a princess- an angry little princess" LOVE IT!

The garden is of course going through another is it or isn't it happening stage. I tried giving my dad information on permanent beds. Even if we can't do raised beds permanent would be good- no go. My mom had all of us outside doing her bidding bright and early Sunday. PB also got something- G-d only knows what dumped all over her that led to a shower and a scrubbed until she looked like a lobster shower. Our neighbor loaned us his tiller so as soon as the ground is workable my dad is doing that. So I raked up the spent pine needles and left over tomato ick from last year. I did not know that Seed Savers has retail seeds so I was at Kelly Seeds yesterday having a grand time. I also bought some heirloom sweet pea seeds but can't find nicotainia seeds or plants anywhere :(

So that is my random thoughts & activities!

Garden?????

2011-05-19T13:54:00.002-05:00

In between healing from my surgery, a very, very wet spring and general illness there has been absolutely no planting going on here and I'm so bummed! I have several pots of herbs that are doing well in their grow house but thats it. I did try to convince my dad that raised beds are the best way to go. Back it up with all sorts of data and got shot down. SO I'm going to go for a permanent bed set up and hope that helps. I know tilling every year is bad but are dirt is basically clay. At least with a permanent bed approach the dirt won't get so compacted. I can get some decent crop rotation schedule going on and still use square foot gardening. I really just wish I could get out there & set some of this in motion!

High School Reunion?

2011-05-18T12:47:00.002-05:00

When I was in OT for my post op wrist & elbow recovery the COTA that I worked with was someone I graduated with. For the most part I have very little memory of those in my graduating class. I was part of a small group that hung out together and kept in touch for awhile after graduation. I wish there were some that I was still in contact with but not that many. Jill, the COTA, is all gung ho for our 20th reunion. First I have to get over the fact that its been 20 years since I walked out of that hell hole and then deal with the fact that I really don't want to go. Since the implosion of my friendship with Jessi I truly have no desire to go. I didn't make it to the previous reunions and don't quite get why people get so excited about reunions. For the most part I hated my high school experience. I was extremely alternative in a Catholic high school. My head was buzzed except for my bangs. Please think back to the late '80's and it won't seem as weird then- I promise! I was very into the Cure, Depeche Mode and had copies of Sid Vicious' obituary all over my locker.

Also, I started at a school called Bergan. In a town this size it still had 2 high schools when I started and there was a bitter rivalry. You went to the high school that your grandparents, parents & siblings went to. Since both my parents had been raised in Chicago there wasn't a big alliance to either school. My youngest aunt & uncle went to Bergan but it was entirely up to me. I decided to go to Bergan and entered there a total and complete prep. I'll have to see if I can find my freshman year and sophmore year pictures to share- what a complete identity shift! I was comfortable with the change and amazingly my parents although they didn't like it supported me. My sophmore year the two high schools combined but were still housed on 2 campuses. My junior year all those idiots from downtown invaded out building. It did bring some nice changes. The best was seeing my friend Jeremy on a daily basis. It also brought about a new girls dean. She was a royal bitch! My hair style was deemed against the new dress code and I had to grow it out. The dean actually measured my hair once a week to make sure I was growing it out. G-d I hated that place! I had my left ear pierced up top on the cartiledge. The school rules where that you could only wear 1 pair of earrings so I wore 1 in the cartiledge and one lower on my right side. Still only 1 pair of earrings. Pushing it a bit perhaps but still within the rules. My mom was there fighting my detentions on a regular basis! There were also a lot of those I deserved. My friend Monika and I had it timed just right so we could get down to our cars, smoke a quick cigarrette and get to study hall in time for detention. I thought I was so cool- If my daughter acts like this I will beat her ass!

I did walk out of there with some really good friends and memories that I'll always treasure. There are many friendships that haven't held up to the test of time and I really am sad about that. There are friendships that I don't regret losing. There are people I miss a lot & wish I could go back and change. There are friends that have passed away and its always with a heavy sense of sadness that I think about them. I just can't picture myself walking into my 20 year reunion and walk out smiling.

Did you go to your reunions?

Ugh- I did it again!

2011-05-13T13:25:00.003-05:00

Well, I disappeared. Instead of blogging and venting on here I let my family get the best of me. Not a good thing. I'll lash myself 40 times with a wet noodle.

Anyway, since then the Royal Wedding happened. I actually got up at 4am to watch the festivities. My friend Jen from Jen on the Edge did an incredible love blogging of the Royal wedding. You can check it out HERE. We text back and forth for a bit. The whole thing made me remember Charles and Diana's wedding. I watched that in my grandparents basement with my Aunt Joanne and my grandma. You really can't watch anything pertaining to William or Harry and not think of their mum. The wedding was spectacular and a lot of fun to watch (although I felt like crud babysitting my nephews later that morning!). I LOVED LOVED LOVED Pippa's maid of honor gown- gorgeous. Kate looked incredible- very Grace Kelly-ish. I was a bit disappointed in the flowers but what can you do?

Easter & Mothers Day were their usual family traumas thanks to my mother. Enough said on that.

I found a gorgeous First Communion gown for Princess Bear (PB) for next year. It was being clearanced and then my mom had a $10 off coupon. So by the time all was said and done the dress was $18- can't beat that!

I'm waiting for PB's pool to arrive but my parents are now saying they aren't sure about the pool. Its high enough to be legal but not too deep. I really don't know why this is even an issue for them.

More updates to come on a regular schedule- really!

Everyone survived Spring Break!

2011-04-11T11:39:00.002-05:00

I think Princess Bear for the most part enjoyed her Spring break. She got to see her cousins several times, watch enough Disney Channel to make my head hurt and even got to go out to lunch with just Mommy like a big girl. As always PB's listening sucks which of course is ALL my fault. That made for a few tense moments but for the most part it was a nice week. She went to my OT a few times with me and she thought that was cool since she gets OT services at school.

On that note my hand is still a mess. Its not hurting quite as much but something is definitely not right with it. My mom of course thinks this is all my fault and that if I need further surgery its just a way for me to get more attention. Um lets see- a)I was completely terrified to go into surgery and b)this surgery was a complete b*&ch to recover from. How crazy is she that she thinks I'd want to repeat this???? Don't answer- more and more I'm realizing how out of touch with reality my mom is. Love her but sure as hell can't help her so I guess thats where that stands. Last night PB & I were repotting some flowers in the kitchen. We got some really cute violas at HyVee and those are just so dang cheerful. There was potting dirt in the sink when we were done but I didn't rinse it out because my mom was taking a shower. If you turn on any water while someone is in the shower at our house you are either going to freeze or get scalded. Although my mom isn't my favorite person lately I didn't see any real advantage to rinsing out the sink. After we got done with the flowers we started PB's bedtime ritual. My mom then went into the kitchen and had a fit about the dirt in the sink and started screaming at me to clean it up. I tried explaining that she was in the shower. No trying to reason with her. So I start cleaning up the sink and then she starts yelling how I'm in her way and to get out of her way. OK- do you want me to clean this immeadiately just like you said or get out of your way like you said? Yes, once again reasonable and rational have come to roost in our house.

I took a trazadone last night a little after 10pm and although it took just about an hour to knock me out I was completely asleep by 11:15pm- go me! My game plan is to take my trazodone around 10pm every night- including the weekends- grrrrrrr! Then if I start sleeping I can tell Dr Singh that my insomnia is under control yet the Effexor really isn't doing much of anything. My anger and anxiety are also getting pretty bad. I want to feel better in general, make a plan to get PB & myself out of her and lead a happy and decent life away from my family. I just can't deal with their anger issues anymore. I have my own to deal with. I can't deal with my mom's issues- although I'd love to be a fly on the wall when she realizes that I really am not the root of her unhappiness.

There was a shower for my cousins fiancee over the weekend. Although I didn't make the trip because children weren't invited I still got to hear about all sorts of family drama when my mom came home. Am I the only one that can see that out of my dad and his 5 siblings that only 1 of them married a person that wasn't mentally ill? Makes me wonder what really went on in my dad's household growing up that they all made that choice. One of my aunts married someone who is bipolar/schzophrenic and her oldest daughter started having issues a few years ago. Now to everyones great surprise so is her youngest. Seriously??? Why are you people surprised????? My uncle is so bad he's on disability but you're surprised that his kids have issues? Even if you can grow up and not let this issues touch you there is still the chemical component. I've also started seeing my daughter and my oldest nephew playing the blame game because in my mom's world whenever ANYTHING happens there is always someone to blame. Never can it be a matter of life- it just happens. Oh no. My nephew threw up in bed and kept apologizing saying it was his fault. No buddy- it isn't your fault. You aren't feeling well and you're 3 years old. That is what happens! Again another thing that is reminding me that no matter how scared I am I really do need to get my shit straightened out so I can get myself & PB away from her. She adores her grandparents and they're the only ones she has but its just not ok anymore.

Well, I'm off to clean some dishes, do some laundry and then finish straightening up my room. Hopefully PB had a good first day back seeing as she didn't even want to get out of the car when she saw the class bully. Man- I really do want to hit that kid and his parents upside the head sometimes!

Steve part deux

2011-03-31T12:47:00.003-05:00

Ok so a recap- I'm totally and completely into this guy Steve and Princess Bear (PB) adores him as well. I also knew that since my relationships all have a tendency to blow up that if nothing happened with Steve I was cool with that. His friendship was really important to me and PB. It was awesome to have a guy friend who made me laugh that much. That is probably the thing I miss the most since my Great Lakes days. On with the story- I always send Steve text messages and he never replies. He's one of those anti phone guys (I think its a genetic male trait actually). Anyway I was having a really shit day and I had called him earlier and left a message that I was going to Barnes & Noble if he wanted to meet for coffee and if not that was fine too. Well the day continued to go downhill. The clincher was PB looking at me and telling me that she hated me. Yeah, that one just warmed the cockles of my heart, gotta tell you! I was hoping we'd hit the tween years at the earliest before that one was unleashed. I text several friends telling them about it and asking for any advice. Steve was one of the people I text. Several girlfriends come back with the "she didn't mean it" "you're a great mom" and whatnot. Then my phone beeps with another text message and its from Steve. Ok- could have pushed me over with a feather! I sat there & kind of stared at the phone for a few minutes and wondering what the hell that was all about. I sent Susie a text saying that Steve had text back and I was scared to open it. It was like one of those Mission Impossible moments that I thought the phone might self destruct when I opened the text message. Then I did the well maybe he has a girlfriend now & she's telling me to stop texting. Just weird random thoughts. Susie is like you've got to read it and let me know. Steve's message was basically him remembering whenever he said that to his mom she would reply "too bad because I love you anyway" and telling me that he hoped my night got better. I replied that his mom sounded like a really smart lady. From there on out Steve actually replied to texts and it was awesome. We could have an entire text conversation. This was all around the time of when I really started babysitting both of my nephews a lot and Tyler was going through real sibling issues. Since Steve is the 2nd youngest of 7 I would often ask him what his reaction was to Karl coming home (another brother I know well and love to give shit to). This was also the beginning of the school year and PB was having trouble with the hoodlum from hades as well as just adjusting to a new school year and all of the changes in her life. She and her cousins are more like siblings than cousins in many aspects. She was delighted having a new cousin but was not thrilled that my parents were constantly at my sisters helping since my sister was so sick. She was basically feeling deserted by my parents. One day she had a melt down that she was home to see Caillou and I forgot to record it for her. My mom told me to just take her to Barnes & Noble after school & let her pick a new Caillou video. Time for some more back story- I have a small issue with catching the car bumper on the parking blocks. I don't know if its because I'm so dang short of it I have absolutely no depth perception at all. Regardless its an issue. Steve had fixed it for me many times when he was still working at Franks. Well as PB and I were leaving Barnes and Noble I once again had caught the bumper- this time though the whole bumper starts yanking off. I immediately go into panic mode thinking that my parents are going to flip the hell out. I tried jamming it back on- yeah that didn't work so well. I called down to Franks & told him what was going on. He said that the guys were getting ready to go home & it would have to wait until the next day. Um- no I'll be dead by then. I get in the car and immediately start heading for Steve's house. I called him and he answered- something he NEVER did. I told him what was going on and he said to head over to the house & he'd meet me there. I got there first and turned in his neighbors driveway to park in front of his house so I wouldn't block the driveway. As I did the the bumper finally gave up the ghost and fell completely off. I finished parking and unbuckled PB. We were getting out of the car as Steve pulled up. He told me to park by the garage. He neighbor was looking out the window and I'm sure wondering what the heck is going on- that chick just left her bumper in someone's driveway. I got out and went to recover the bumper but Steve and PB beat me to it. Now I also have to say that I was looking like death run over. My hair wasn't the best because the night before had been a no wash night and it was thrown back in a clip as well as a few other things. I was pretty mortified that Steve was seeing me this way. He was just his awesome self and fixed the car right up. I thanked him all over the place and told him that I owed him dinner. A bit later I text him to thank him again and asked him what kind of pasta he wanted- tetrazinni or carbonara. Silly me- the man loves anything with bacon so I really didn't even need to ask. While he was fixing the car we were talking about my sister reading me the riot act for watching Sons of Anarchy. I was white trash yada yada yada. He just laughed. A few days later it was my birthday and I took that weeks episode of Sons of Anarchy over there. The idea was to make him watch it then. We sat down and watched it and had a nice afternoon. I don't do well with silence. The fact that I watched an entire episode with someone there and didn't talk was a real sign of how comfortable I felt with him. When it was time for me to pick up PB from school I tried convincing Steve to come with because we were going to get ice cream. No such luck. I picked up PB from school and she was excited that we were getting ice cream but she wanted to take some to Steve. Now you have to understand that I didn't suggest this to her and hadn't mentioned that I was over there earlier. I told her that I wasn't sure if he was home. She decided that we'd get ice cream for him and go over anyway. Can you tell my child has determination? So we hit Culvers and picked up ice cream. As we were turning onto the road to get to Steve's house he was turning from the opposite direction. I had called him and left a message so he knew what was up. We went in had our ice cream and had a nice time. Steve took PB across the street to the woods to see if the deer were close enough to see and then he took her down to the playground. She had a ball. Downside- she overheated. It wasn't a big deal- just kind of another day in the life of PB. I had a PTA meeting that night & I called my parents to see if they wanted me to feed PB before I went or if they had dinner plans including her. My mom said that she didn't care. So we stayed an visited a bit longer and then took off. Well, my mom had a complete fit when we got home. Now this isn't unusual for my mom as its just part of her delightful demeanor. She didn't really believe me that I didn't suggest to PB that we should go over to Steve's until I told her that I'd already seen him that day. Since then she's very used to PB asking to go to Steve's and has actually helped trying to explain to PB why we haven't seen Steve lately. Hell- I don't understand it so how can my 7 year old daughter? The week after my birthday I went over to Steve's to see his newest toy that he brought back from a trip back to Kansas. Since shortly after my birthday Steve had stopped returning texts. Just as quickly has it started it stopped. Then I was deleted from his Facebook friends list. Silly me- I thought it was some sort of accident and sent a new friend request. Steve cut off all communication. I tried several times asking what was going on. I was nice and then eventually bitchy. PB wasn't understanding why she couldn't see her Steve. I finally told him that he was really important to PB and since the problem was apparently with me that I would stay in the car when I went took her to visit him. The next time I took her there was early December. She was thrilled that he was home and I let her visit. A few minutes later she came out and told me to come in. I thought it was an invitation from Steve. We went in and talked for a few and I asked him why he'd 86'd me from his life. No real answer. On the way home I asked PB about Steve asking me in and she admitted that she asked if I could come in. I told her that wasn't part of the bargain and she wouldn't be able to visit him if she did that again. I sent him a text apologizing and letting him know that I talked to PB and hopefully she understood the rules now. That was the last time that either of us have seen Steve. I tend to hibernate in winter anyway so it wasn't too much of a surprise. Lately though PB has been asking for him constantly. I usually tell her that he's busy with work or some other lame excuse that I hope will appease her. The other day we had to drive near his house when we were on the way to Fresh Market with my mom and she was screaming that she wanted her Steve. We reminded her that we were going to the store & she'd get a cookie so she chilled a bit. On the way home the scenario repeated. For whatever reason my mom's decided that Steve is bipolar. First of all I think its funny that my mom would diagnose anyone when she won't admit her own issues. Also how she came to the bipolar diagnosis I'm not completely sure. Anyway it was kind of fun trying to listen to my mom explaining to PB that it wasn't her fault or mine or anyone else's for that matter that Steve wasn't being nice or friendly. On Tuesday of this week (a mere 4 days after the above scene) PB started asking for Steve again. I once again told her that he was at work. She decided she'd call him. I gave her my cell phone and she left a message. Hopefully she'll be appeased for awhile. I'd just give my eyeteeth to understand why Steve decided to axe me out of his life. As I said I was completely ok with the fact that nothing romantic would happen. Disappointed but ok with it. His friendship meant a lot more. I can handle the disappointment. I may not like it but I can wrap my head around it. I am very pissed that my little girl has gotten hurt. I tried making it easy for him to still be the hero he was to her while staying off to the side. To say I don't get any of this would be an understatement.

The heart is a funny frustrating thing!

2011-03-30T09:44:00.005-05:00

I don't know why I'm just now broaching this subject. Perhaps because I'm still somewhat afraid of someone I don't want finding it coming across my blog. Ever since an ex of mine found it I've worried. Its just I need to sort out some feelings about Steve. Haven't heard that name have you? Steve is a dear friend of mine and Princess Bear (PB). I adore Steve in ways that I don't even understand and I'm not the only one. PB is a one child Steve adoration platoon. Steve is a family friend- kind of. PB & I are closest to him. His brother is our mechanic and close to the whole family and we know several other brothers too. Steve used to work for his brother which is how we met him as he'd previously been living in another state. I guess I should have been a bit leery as he has a pretty solid reputation of cutting people out of this life- especially family. Before he moved here he'd not talked to Frank for a long time. Karl and he had been very close and he'd cut out Karl & his family until recently. There's a lot of speculation on what Steve's issues are- most something definitely in the mental health family. As someone who's dealt with my own issues its pretty recognizable. That said Steve was a really great friend to me and PB. She adores her Steve as she calls him. One day we went to the garage to get something on the car looked at and she went bouncing into the back to find Steve and we found out that he'd quit. No warning, nada. The guys came in one day & found Steve had returned all the tools he'd been given as various gifts and a lawn mower. Ok- not particularly cool but not something we really needed to get involved in. PB was devastate that she couldn't see her Steve but really wasn't grabbing the full concept. I'd sent him a few text messages and never heard anything back. Steve isn't big on the phone in the first place so that wasn't much of a surprise. Steve & I were facebook friends and we talked on there occasionally and he always kept up with things I said on Facebook. Steve had been living with Frank & got his own place shortly before quitting Franks. Well finally after PB asking for her Steve on a very regular basis and having a fit when we did have to go deal with something on the car and him not being there I gave in and took her to his house to visit. He seemed to take it in stride and she was so thrilled.

Now here's my emotional disclosure on all of this. I have a thing for Steve. Won't even try to deny it. I am so attracted to this man in all ways possible- his intellect, we have common interests and I'm completely hot for his body. Now thats kind of a puzzler because he really isn't "my type". Just a refresher- my type is TALL (gotta be at least 6' but preferably taller), blonde, blue eyed and please be rocking a few tats ok! Well, Steve isn't that tall, has brownish blonde hair, green eyes and no ink. Hell- who these days other than my brother in law has no ink? Steve! Now all that said I'll do the short list (and this is just the short list) of what I like about the man. First of all he's scary smart and a smart funny guy is sexy as all hell! He's also crazy funny! The guy can and does make me smile on an almost constant basis. We both love reading, the same music- especially some of the same old school stuff. He was a skater and frankly the only person I've met in the last 15 years that knew who Natas Kapas is. One day I put some Ramones lyrics on Facebook & he was like "Yeah!". Love it! Then there is the fact that the guy is so good and caring with my daughter. It wasn't by any means what made my heart go pitter patter for the guy but it definitely clinched it. He never spoke down to her or treated her like she wasn't capable of understanding something. He was also protective of her. He lives near a grade school and there is a short cut from the school to the playground by his house. He was worried that she would sneak out of school one day and try to come visit him. Actually he worried that she wouldn't be home when she did it. Yeah- melt my heart.

Now I knew that I was into this guy. He was all of the above and I wanted him 30 different ways. That said I knew the most important thing was our friendship. Chances of relationships working out- especially mine are not high and friendships are precious. I made the call early on that I was fine if nothing happened between me and Steve as long as he and I remained friends and he was still an important part of PB's life.

I'll have to finish this up later- gotta get ready for OT & then babysitting! fun fun!

Dist. 150 SUCKS!

2011-03-24T12:58:00.002-05:00

As I mentioned I had Princess Bears (PB) IEP coming up. I wasn't looking forward to this for several reasons. Here are a few
-I'm never a fan of them in general because the are so stressful
-I've only met the new OT a few times, the PT once and the Speech path 0 times. Yes folks that is right- I wouldn't be able to point out her Speech path or PT if you had them in a line up and held a gun up to my head
-I'm beyond frustrated with the speech path who I've spend the last couple of months playing phone tag with but could never get ahold of.

So I initially thought I was going to be attending the IEP by myself which really had me jazzed. I love my mom and I know she loves PB but we inevitably walk out of meetings like this with my mom telling me how I've been f*&king PB over by not doing all I can for her. Evidently spending time working with her everyday is not enough. My dad pitched a fit because he thought I was going to go in and make a big scene and really alienate the therapist who would in turn take it out on PB so I said my mom could go. On the way to pick up my mom I had the Sex Pistols & Rob Zombie blaring. I was absolutely ready to go to battle.

The speech path from Shriners had faxed a letter to my moms office saying that PB should have a minimum of 3 weekly 30 minute individual sessions and all her reasons to support this. Previous to this year PB always had one 30 min individual session and one 30 minute "group" session with one other student. I wasn't happy with the group but had always been assured it was a child who PB could work well and learn with. I knew that PB's group sessions this year had 2 other students which is what prompted the game of phone tag with the speech path. What I didn't know until yesterday is that PB is not getting ANY individual sessions- no child is because they are understaffed. Um yeah- not my problem. As soon as I get done with this post I'm making calls to get copies of all of BP's IEPs and speech path notes since she started the district at 3 years old. I'm contacting the school board, the local paper, Advocates for Access and my State Representative. Can you tell I'm not happy?

After a lot of fighting the speech path agreed to add an additional 30 minutes of speech for PB which of course will be in a group because the poor speech is so overworked. We have to re-evaluate in the fall. She admitted that PB is making progress with 60 minutes and that more therapy should show more progress so I'll fight the battle in the fall to keep the entire 90 minutes. I also got a call before walking into the IEP that the PTs wanted to take PB from 60 minutes a week, so 240 minutes a month, down to 30 minutes a month. They claimed that she's met all her goals. Yep she has- sounds like its time to write new tougher goals then isn't it? I did agree to let PT drop down to 30 minutes a week. The coordinator was a HUGE help in getting the additional speech time as she said one of PB's best traits is her friendly social nature and that if we want her to be comfortable in society that she has to be understood by members of society. Her teacher said that PB can be understood in the classroom but pointed out that she's been teaching special needs students for almost 30 years and can decipher almost all speech. I am so sick and tired of fighting for things for my daughter that should just be happening. I've said this before and I'll say it again as much as I hate the fact that PBs future is so up in the air the more help, intervention, therapy and skills she gets now will cost the state less in the long run. I hate that its all about the almighty dollar instead of people actually caring enough about this kids to help them succeed to the best of their abilities. SO, I'm done ranting for the moment and now I'm going to start making phone calls and I figure by sometime next week someone over at the admin offices will have my foot planted in their arse!

Life and such

2011-03-22T11:56:00.003-05:00

Its been its usual craziness around here lately. The weather has been gorgeous so Princess Bear (PB) and I have spent a fair amount of time outside. I think the child would stay outside 24/7 if I'd let her! We planted some lettuce the other day so now I'm really itching to get in the garden! I've also been walking to the school to pick her up in the afternoons and my neighbor Kim lets PB walk one of her dogs home so PB is in 7th Heaven! On Friday I had an appointment with the podiatrist about the stupid bump on my toe. Its a cyst and the Dr told me I'm not to touch it at all! He then numbed it with a general anesthetic and then shot my toe full of a steroid. Since I'm something of a freak of nature and things never go like they're supposed to the general didn't completely wear off for days. My whole foot was numb all day Friday. Weird stuff I tell you!

I'm all set for a craft show in May and really excited about it! I'm going to do mostly the Scrabble tile and bottle cap necklaces with flip flops. I'll have some barrettes and bows with crocheted socks as well but they aren't the big emphasis. This show only costs $20 for a table which is AWESOME!!! and I have high hopes! I'd love to get a local clientele.

Other than that I'm just completely exhausted and can't sleep for shit. It doesn't matter how tired I am but I cannot fall asleep. Its getting to the point of being a problem. Then again between that and PMS that I should be in rare form for PB's IEP meeting tomorrow. I told my mom that I don't want her attending this one. She usually takes notes & gives her 2 cents on things but I'm beyond pissed this year so I don't want to deal with her telling me to calm down & play nice. It is March & I have NO feedback from the Speech therapist or the PT and minimal feedback from the OT. Actually I've never even met the Speech therapist although I did play phone tag trying to get a hold of her for a month or so. PB's supposed to get 30 minutes of 1 on 1 speech per week and then 30 minutes of group which is supposed to be 2 students (including her) once a week. Group has now become 3 or 4 students. PB is less clear in her speech and we're constantly asking her to repeat things. It almost feels like we're back to where we were when she started talking a few years ago. Its so frustrating! So I'm going in riding my bitch stick and letting these women know I'm not happy.

So thats the story here!

I'm back & basically in 1 piece!

2011-03-17T17:43:00.005-05:00

Hi! I'm alive! I had my surgery on Feb 18th. Before that I was dealing with my mother and her crazy quest for a clean (ie sterile no one lives here house). Princess Bear (PB) was not thrilled at the prospect of me having surgery although the fact that her Dzadza (grandpa) was dropping her off at school almost made up for it. I had to be at the hospital at 5:30am. I'm allergic to latex so I was scheduled for the 1st surgery slot of the day. The bad part was I didn't get to sleep until after 3am. I love it too because you can't drink after midnight. That morning at admitting you have to do a pregnancy test. I tried assuring them that unless it was the second coming there was no way I was pregnant but they didn't want to take me at my word. So here I am several hours of no fluids or food and they want me to be in a cup. Hello! Usually there has to be intake for there to be output! Sometimes hospitals are crazy. Then I was finally taken to the surgery floor and put in a just oh so cute- NOT gown and a hat that made me look like an alien (it was metallic so it was supposed to help keep you warm). Since I had MRSA last year and still test positive for colonization I had to be in an isolation unit and all personnel had to have on isolation garb- again completely crazy. Even more so if you consider how many of them would probably test positive because of where they work. After having the IV put in and my history being taken a few thousand times my mom came back to sit with me. It was around 7:45 and I called to make sure PB was up and getting ready for school. I was really I got to talk to her that morning. The nurse joked that my Dr. would most likely walk in at exactly 8am and sure enough he did! The nurse anesthetist wanted me to use my emergency inhaler before surgery in an attempt to stop a bad reaction I usually have. Apparently my surgery took longer than it was supposed to and about the time my mom was doing a "wtf" to the staff the Dr. came out and talked to her. The surgery itself went fine it was just a bit longer in my elbow than he thought it should and then my asthma was a problem. The next thing I remember is someone telling me to take a deep breath. In recovery the nurse had to keep on telling me that because my oxygen level kept on dropping. The nurse in there was incredibly nice which was awesome. She called PB's school and asked them to get a message to PB that mommy was out of surgery & just fine. I stayed in the first stage of recovery for awhile because of my oxygen dropping. I finally got moved to stage 2 recovery and my mom came back. Again I would be fine and them my oxygen would drop and it was like I was almost drifting off to sleep. They finally got my oxygen to stay about 90% and let my mom me home. Can I tell you what beautiful things ice packs and hydrocodone are???? The first week it was basically 2 hydrocodone every 4 hours. Its pretty impossible to have your arm completely immobile without a cast. Then there is my child, cat & dog who all thought they needed to hover constantly. Below are some pics taken a few days after surgery and then a few weeks after the stitches came out. I started PT this week- yeah thats fun.

Now on the plus side of the surgery I had been getting a lot of sleep and did a lot of reading and watching TV. I appropriated my sisters copies of Season 1 and 2 of Sons of Anarchy. Its almost scary how much I love that show. I didn't watch the first season so I'd only seen a few rerun episodes before the start of season 2. The cool thing is that watching some of the episodes for a second time added a lot of perspective. I also didn't know that the actor that plays Otto is the executive producer, Kurt Sutter. I love that every show leaves me with a one line that I think about and chuckle. The guy also has an amazing sense of music and puts some really incredible songs in. Katey Sagal plays Gemma and is such an amazingly strong woman that I think every woman secretly would like to be a bit more like. My absolute favorite since I started watching has been Chibs played by Tommy Flanagan. I love the accent and frankly thing he's gotten the inner strength from hell to have lived through this Glasgow grin experience and y'all know how much I love those really tough manly men! I also think Juice, Theo Rossi, is just too damn cute! I also love the tats on the head although they aren't real. I'm also understanding why so many women are on the Charlie Hunnam bandwagon. I didn't know that Drea De Mateo was on season 1 and I've loved her since she was Joey's sister on Joey (the very short lived Friends spin off)

One of the things I've thought about is why I like this show so much. Its not like I'm into Harleys (kind of always thought they were couches on wheels and liked crotch rockets because I loved the speed adrenalin aspect). I do like that all of the main male characters are without a doubt manly men- no whimps there! Also the idea of the MC seeking out there brand of justice is always intriguing. One of my favorite trash book series is the Fern Michaels Sisterhood series for the same reason. They are out to get their own justice at any cost and I can relate to that. Also since I'm still a Sid Vicious fan the Sid reference in season 1 worked for me too! So you have hot guys with tats including one with a killer Scottish accent and some kick ass music and a great premise and you have a good show.

Well this is by far the most I've typed since my surgery & my elbow is letting me know so I'm outta here for now!

Is it spring yet?

2011-02-11T09:23:00.002-06:00

Princess Bear (PB) asked on the way home from school a few days ago when it would be summer. Ummmm, maybe as soon as all the pile snow melts & we go through spring first???? My child is not so good with the whole patience thing! She really doesn't care much about spring except for the fact that she gets to ditch her coat without big ramifications. (she tried wearing a zipper hoodie as a coat the other day- with temps in the negatives!!!). Me, I'm getting really excited about spring. I want to plant some seeds! My favorite season is fall but spring is a runner up. I'm not a fan of either heat or cold. I'm considering building this light setup that I found in Urban Farming. So awesome and about $45 for the whole she-bang! WooHoo! I'm taking over my dad's basement workroom- he just doesn't know it yet!!! haha!

I have my surgery for my carpel and cubital tunnel scheduled for next Friday. I'm a bit nervous because during my pre surgery visit the nurse told me that my ankle would swell and bruise badly again just as part of the healing process. I also am off advil as of today because of the bleeding risk. I'm playing around with postponing the surgery until summer. That way the garden will be going full swing and PB will be done with school so I don't have to worry about those things. Hmmmmm- what to do, what to do?

I've also been emailing with a nice guy named Shawn that I met on Farmers Only website. He wants me to call him. I'm trying to gather up my courage and reach for the phone. This whole online dating things is much weirder and a bit more than I thought it was going to be. Still not sure what I think.

Ok- I'm going to go tackle my room some more and then maybe call Shawn. Have a great day!

Another week.....

2011-02-07T10:11:00.003-06:00

Well, snowpalooza is done and over with. Thank goodness! It was not fun but we all survived so I suppose that's good! Here are a few pics of what it was like here near the end of last week.

Princess Bear (PB) had a blast playing in the snow. She literally just throws herself around, dives, slides and builds. We wound up with mounds of snow that were almost 4 feet high on each side of our driveway and she was jumping and sliding off of those- the child has no concept of personal safety but is always about all out fun! Her school district has a new superintendent and school was cancelled from Tuesday through Friday. I must confess that Tuesday was a stretch because it hadn't even started snowing until mid morning time frame but ok. Friday was cold but they should have been back in school but what can you do. The new superintendent is not a Midwesterner and evidently not used to snow storms. She was concerned about bus riders because the weather was so cold and most sidewalks weren't cleared. Um, got news for you- after a storm like this sidewalks don't get cleared! The plows have come through and laid an extra several feet of snow on the sidewalks and that stuff isn't moving until it warms up- a lot! The time off did give me a lot of time to do a lot of one on one education time with PB. For the most part she was a pretty good sport about it and we're making headway so I'm happy.

So that was the story here. I'm going to go work in PB's closet some more- fun stuff! Hope y'all are staying warm!

Sarah

Dip toes and then jump!

2011-01-31T13:06:00.002-06:00

Ok- I'm in it now! That is my quest for the country life! Last week I made a few calls about signing Princess Bear (PB) up for FFA or 4-H. The closest FFA chapter is about an hour and a half from here so that just isn't going to work. There are several 4-H chapters here in town so we're going with that. The February meeting is distributing Valentine cards at a nursing home but no meeting afterwards so that didn't seem like the best time to take PB. Instead we're waiting for the March meeting. That meeting is taking place at our local Hy Vee which is a fairly new store (it opened last summer) and for whatever reason it is one of PB's favorite places to go. The meeting is a tour of the store and then an actual meeting afterwards. She's looking very forward to it. She'll be in a group called Cloverbuds which is for 5-7 year olds. The leader also told me that 8 years old and up always have to present a project at the County fair every summer. We talked about the possibility that PB might have a difficult time at the fair because of the heat and she said that is no problem whatsoever. Instead PB can go to the local extension office here in Peoria and present her project there. I'm just very glad that PB is getting some more socialization. I originally looked for a Brownies troop but for some reason that just never seems to take off at her school.

Then I decided to take the plunge myself and sign up at Farmers Only which is an online sight to find someone else who is also interested in a country lifestyle. I'd never heard of this site before and then heard about it twice in a pretty small time frame. What the heck- it can't make my social life any less busy!

I also signed up for 2 plots at our community garden. Our garden here at home isn't quite as big as I'd like and there isn't room for any other gardening spots around the house. The plots are 4' x 8' and cost $10 for the summer. So I figure a $20 investment isn't a bad idea for uping my growing space by almost 50%. I'm planning on using one of the plots for tomatoes only. I'm going to be a canning fool I tell you! Think of all the tomato juice, salsa, ketchup, chili and pasta sauce I can put by for the winter! I'm so excited! I'm going to do a lot of beans, peas and carrots in the other space with maybe some beets because PB loves munching on beet stalks with ranch dressing. I was pickig out my blueberry bushes last night. I'm planning on getting somewhere between 6-8 semi sized blueberry bushes. That way they can be grown in containers around the backyard even if I manage to get a swimming pool for PB this summer, G-d willing! I'm also thinking about a couple of dwarf apricot and nectarine trees for the patio. We have 2 apple trees so we're going to have lots of great fruit hopefully. I also really really REALLY want a strawberry pyramid. Have you seen these? They're so cool. Its a circular, tiered strawberry garden that has space for 50 strawberry plants in a 6' circle! You can take a look HERE. You can purchase a netting set to go over it to keep pesky birds out of your garden! Man do I want one of these!!! PB would be so happy being able to pick her own strawberries and blueberries. The only other berry she likes is raspberry & I don't have the space or ability to deal with canes right now.

So, that is what is happening here. Now we're just getting ready to hunker down for the foot of snow that we're supposed to get between now and Wednesday- oh yah! NOT!

4 Questions about me

2011-01-28T10:29:00.003-06:00

I read this over at Jen on the Edge yesterday and decided I would give this a spin. Then I found out about winning the Box Imagination Co contest and detoured a bit. Now I'm back front and center! Although I promise I cannot pick one answer for each question!

1) If you could have been best friends with someone in history, who would it be and why?
Well for the homesteading, living a meaningful life part of me I would have to go with Scott and Helen Nearing

(yes, that is 2 people but really only one choice!)

and then for the crafty side of me Martha Stewart.

I love Martha! She's so the bomb and she's Polish to boot! My mom says that I'm a mix between Martha and Phoebe from Friends....not so sure if that's good or bad!

2) If you could have dinner with a famous person in current times, who would it be and why?
Ok Jen I know this will have you shaking your heading muttering but I would want to have dinner with Glenn Beck because I adore him! He never wants you to take his word for it. He tells you to question things and to read and make your own decisions!

and I'd also want to have dinner with Jenny McCarthy- didn't see that one coming did you?

Its because of her stand on autism. Now in some ways I really hate how much time and money is given to autism but she's a mom who really fought for her child and found things that helped him and I find it really inspirational. Then if you wanted to make me a really happy camper you could throw in a dinner with Max Martini
Dwayne Johnson
or Howie Long

just so I could sit there and drool for awhile. Honestly- these are some seriously hot dudes!!!

3) What is your favorite book/books and why?
OK- for a book with substance and meaning I have to go with Golda by Elinor Burkett (a biography of Golda Meir)
For laugh out loud funny I love the Stephanie Plum novels by Janet Evanovich, for fun mysteries with great recipes the Hannah Swenson books by Joanne Fluke are great, I'm loving the Virgin River series by Robyn Carr and my old stand bys are Debbie Macomber, Fern Michaels and Nora Roberts. I love Fern Michaels Sisterhood series because the premise of extracting your own justice is something I think every woman wishes she could do at one time or another. Lastly, the book He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt is an awesome look into the guy mind.
Go ahead, wonder on over to Amazon and read about them- bet you'll find something in my list that works for you!

4) What is your favorite smell and why?
OK- what time of year is it?
I love lavender, vanilla and clove and various spices if we're going with natural scents.

Unfortunately when I smell that I really, really, REALLY want one of these!

Not a good thing!

If we're talking about perfume scents my all time favorite is LouLou

which isn't even sold in the US anymore (anybody going to Europe soon????) and my backups are Casmir and Hypnotic Poison

So any shockers here? Let me know if I surprised you!

WooHoo!

2011-01-27T13:46:00.003-06:00

Ok- I have to confess something, ok? I LOVE WINNING THINGS!!!!!!!!!!! It puts me in a really good mood!!! I did lots of contest links on my other blog but that has gone by the wayside. I hope to pick it up again. I was feeling a bit down one day so I entered some blog giveaways just for fun. Well, Glitterful Felt Stories had an Imagination Box Castle Tower giveaway & I just found out I won!!!!!!!! WOOHOO! WOOHOO! WOOHOO! Even better is how excited Princess Bear (PB) is going to be when she receives this!!! I'm excited for her! She's really, really, really into the whole princess thing right now so this comes at a perfect time!

Man, don't you love it when life hands you a pick up? Things have just been kind of blah. Winter ick outside, my ankle injury and just generally blah. I'm so stoked!!!!

Now I'm going to go curl up on the couch and read for a bit & maybe even grab a quick nap before I go grab PB from school. I helped my sister @ the peditricians this morning & had to ditch the crutches. I have decided that we're renaming Luke to Brian though! He is literally off the growth charts for weight & head circumference and 80% for height (weird since my bil is 6'9") and he reminds me of a mini Brian Urlacher (I look at the man & always feel bad for his mom when I see how big his head is! Click HERE to see what I mean!)

Another trip to Chicago done and over

2011-01-26T09:59:00.002-06:00

Wow- I've got to say that I've made more Dr's trips to Chicago with Princess Bear (PB) than I can count at this point. What still amazes me is how absolutely exhausting this trips are. My mom & dad went with us since I'm still not clear to drive long distances let alone stop & go traffic in Chicago. The day started waking up at 5am. Now I'm not under ANY circumstances a morning person. Hell- if I'm up at 5am its because I haven't gone to bed yet! So up at 5 and in the car & on the road by 6:05am. My parents borrowed my brother in laws car under the theory that I'd have more room to stretch out my leg. Well that meant putting my foot on the arm rest of the front seat and that didn't fly. PB & I fell asleep about an hour into the trip since there wasn't much to do. An hour and a half later my mom decided to wake us up FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER!!!!!! Ugh! I made good use of my time by putting on some make-up. I really need to do that more often! I look better & feel better! So we finally arrived at Shriners and as always its sit, wait, wait some more and then see someone for 5 minutes and what a lot longer. The medical photographer took new pics of PB and then we were put in a room to see the plastic surgeon. We weren't planning on seeing him and my dad had some questions for him so that worked out well. Unfortunately, the questions my dad had were questions I previously asked and my mom & dad didn't think I had my information correct when relaying it to them- guess what- I DID! I know y'all are surprised! The developmental psychologist, the sole reason for our visit, popped in the room while were were waiting and asked a few questions including if I'd brought a copy of PB's report card. She'd never asked for this before so I didn't have it with me. Shortly after that the plastic surgeon came in the room and spent all of 5 minutes with us. He gave us absolutely no idea when PB's next surgery will be. That means we can't plan the surgery to straighten PB's eyes. Since the dawn of Obamacare is upon us I'm really nervous about all of these up in the air procedures. We went back to the waiting area and I started filling out the paperwork the developmental pyschologist game me (one set was 4 pages and the other was 10) and wondered why they don't send this to my house ahead of time for me to fill out and then bring back all ready to go. My dad apparently had his panties in a bunch "and wanted to throttle me because I'm my usual irresponsible self and wasn't prepared for the visit" because I didn't have a copy of the report card the psychologist asked about. I tried explaining it hadn't been asked for so why in the heck would I bring it? Not good enough. It led to a huge fight with my parents and my mom telling me she thought that PB & I needed to move out because I'm never going to grow up while living here. WTF? The collective irrational thinking is astounding! The developmental pyschologist decided that she wanted PB to see the speech pathologist which I thought was already happening. Since her speech path here is useless I was fine with that. I got some great feedback from both of them which was nice. They both think PB has some problems with recall and memory which has me concerned but hopefully that can be overcome. I'm not looking forward to reading the report from the developmental psychologist since they tend to be quite harsh. We finally left Shriners around 3:15 (after arriving at 9:40!) so we managed to hit the road right as rush time was starting. That part of being around Chicago I do not miss in the slightest!!! Considering the slow start we made good time getting home and got back here by 6:45pm. It was a night of early bed times all around. Now my ankle is swollen more than twice the size it was when the trip started so I'm a bit worried about that but just glad that I have a nice quiet day by myself! I'm going to curl up with my copy of Urban Farm and read for a bit!

Some days it just isn't worth chewing through the restraints!

2011-01-24T14:11:00.003-06:00

OK- in our household we're in mourning. Yesterday was the NFC playoff between our beloved Chicago Bears & the Green Bay Packers. I know that those who read my blog aren't big NFL fans but you know I am so sorry for the post! The Bears vs Packers rivalry is an old deep rivalry. I HATE THE GREEN BAY PACKERS!!! Can't stand them! Yesterday was not a swell day in our household anyway since my mom felt the need to have a meltdown over the state of the basement when she went to do the laundry. Anyway we all settled down to watch the game. I was very sore because I did a few trips up & down the stairs. Anyway the living room couch and I were one yesterday for the game and Princess Bear (PB) didn't even ask to change the channels. She's liked watching football since she was an infant- I think it was the colors and action on the TV screen at that point but whatever works right??? :) Anyhoo- I was evidently a lot more worn out that I thought because I crashed HARD during the game. Now I'll be the first to admit that I'm usually the first one lining up for a Sunday afternoon nap but not while an important game is on! My mom called me & realized I was asleep & got very worried- that's how out of character it is for me. Anyway, during my nap was the portion of the game that Jay Cutler (Chicago's quarterback) was supposedly hurt. I remember seeing Collins play and thinking "what the heck" and then drifting back to sleep and waking up when Hanie was playing. Now Chicago is a team that is known for its quarterback issues. They're also known for not paying their athletes a lot and keeping coaches long after they should be kicked to the curb. Here are a few links for some of the "controversy" stirring around about Jay Cutlers injury.
HERE

HERE

HERE
Now I'm not Jay Cutler, a Dr or a trainer but I do know that if I hurt myself badly enough to pull out of whatever activity I'm in that I'm not going to be standing up on the sidelines. Just me but if I'm in pain my happy a#s is sitting down! Now you might be saying that its not fair that Cutler is catching all this flack for an alleged injury. Well the problem is that Cutler is a damn princess! Its actually the reason the Bears acquired him! We didn't get him because he was such a great QB- and G-d only knows the Bears really needed that! Now we got Cutler because the Bronco's had given up on him. The story is that Cutler supposedly got upset that the coach didn't say hello to him. Huh? What grade are you in? So we have a quarterback that is marginally better than what we had but not such a big deal that we should have been dancing in the streets which unfortunately happened to an extent because the Bears quarterback situation had been SO dismal. Now there is one more down side to this story- the Bears had a pretty good season overall so in all probability Lovie Smiths job is safe. NO NO NO!!!! If the Bears would have had a bad year I'm pretty sure Lovie would be out the door since there were rooms to that extent before the beginning of the season. Now I'm sure management is going to give him some more time. I really wish that the Chicago Bears management would do a few things: 1)actually spend a decent amount of money on some key players- most importantly a quarterback. (they should also get rid of Collins and put some time into Hanie because he showed some promise) 2) send Lovie Smith packing. Yes in the 7 seasons he's had 4 winning seasons but I just don't see him being a positive thing for the team anymore. Here is a breakdown of the Bears season record since Smith was hired:
2004 5W 11L
2005 11W 5L
2006 13W 3L
2007 7W 9L
2008 9W 7L
2009 7W 9L
2010 11W 5L

As you can see our really last great season was 2006 when we went to the Super Bowl against Indianapolis. We lost but since Indy's my backup team and Tony Dungy was the Colts coach at the time and is arguably one of the best coaches ever I can deal with the loss.

So have you had enough rambling about football for now? Sorry but its a big deal in my house as is baseball. Anyway I'll move on! Yesterday I noticed that 2 of the toes on the foot I hurt and twisted my ankle on were going numb. Ok- could be a problem. Also I'm still in a hot of pain even though the indicated that I should be feeling a lot better by now. So this morning I had an appointment with my Dr. He is considering an MRI at this point to see if there is any damage to the ligament at least more that just stretching it. He told me he wants me on crutches for 2 more weeks and then a cane. I also can't drive long distances and have to be very cautious because if I break too hard with my foot and could damage the ligament big time. Man- when I hurt myself I go all out! My mom isn't too happy and assured me that I still need to have my room done to her satisfaction by my surgery next month. All of this also means that when we go to Chicago for PB's appointment at Shriners tomorrow that I can't drive up there or back. My Dr. about had a fit when I mentioned driving to Chicago. So both of my parents are going up there. This is my dad's first time at Shriners so I'm kind of glad about that because he'll get a better idea of why I don't want any of PB's surgeries there. Tomorrows appointment isn't going to be too much of a big deal. PB is meeting with the Developmental Psychologist and Speech Path that have followed her since she was a few months old. Its a bit nerve wracking because the psychologist tried telling me before PB was even 3 years old that PB would never finish high school or achieve an real dependence for herself. Fortunately her opinion has changed. We might see the surgeon for just a minute but most likely he won't have time. I'm ok with that because his non committal attitude completely stresses me out. The only reason I want to see him is so we can discuss starting PBs orthodontic care. She's lost several teeth and our dentist told me that she might not have all of her adult teeth and that since her mouth is so crowded that might not be a bad thing. I'd really like for my baby to have all of her teeth and not have to spend years enduring dental work but it doesn't look like that one is in the cards.

The only other notable thing going on is that I got to see my nephews on Saturday when they came for dinner. Not seeing them for over a week is tough at this point! When they got here my brother in law gave me the baby and a bottle so I could do some bonding with him. That baby is so happy its just not even funny! Then my oldest nephew got really worried when he saw my foot and got out PB's stethoscope and "listened" to my ankle. The kid is so cute and too smart. He was so excited to see dessert with whipped cream on it. My dad gave it to him and his response was this awesome "Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!" He only ate the whipped cream and was pretty upset he couldn't score more. I don't know why not! Such mean parents!!! Just kidding so that has been my life in the past few days. I'll hopefully post about PB's Shriners visit on Wednesday.

TGIF!

2011-01-21T11:20:00.002-06:00

Man- I've done a whole lot of nothing this week! I've slept, read, slept, planned my garden and slept some more! I must say the sleep is really welcome! Especially since my insomnia had been pretty out of control. There is one slight problem- my days & nights are TOTALLY reversed! I've always been a night owl but its back in force! So much for 11pm bedtimes! :) Gotta get back to that! I've done a huge amount of trash reading which is kind of fun. My sister & I both read a small Christmas novella by Robyn Carr- part of her Virgin River series. She's a really fun trash book author! So of course my sister & I had to go back & start at the beginning of the Virgin River Series. If you want to check out Robyn Carr go HERE. Nothing about reading about manly men, small town life & the women the love! lol Yes I am a trash romance junkie- just a way to live vicariously!

I've also been doing some heavy duty planning on my garden. Yes, I admit it, I'm obsessed! I've actually graphed it out on graph paper. I really want the garden I WANT this year! I've been pouring over seed catalogs and reading my gardening books. I'm going for a very intensively planned square foot succession garden plan. Most of my seeds are coming from Sand Hill Preservation Center. They are just a hop, skip and a jump away being located in Iowa so I figure what they have good luck with I should as well. In addition this man is really dedicated to the genetic preservation of open pollenation seeds. This is important for so many reasons up to and including being able to save seeds for future gardens. The other 2 places I'm getting seeds from are Bountiful Gardens and Baker Creek Heirloom Seeds. I would SO love to take a roadtrip to visit Baker Creek Seeds!!!!!!!!!!

Other than that I've been trying to do some cleaning while not hurting my ankle. Fun and games I tell you!

I'm seriously accident prone!

2011-01-19T14:10:00.003-06:00

And you read it here first! On Sunday I was with Princess Bear at Sunday School. Class was over and I went to stand up even though my leg was asleep- very asleep. Next thing I know I'm on the floor and have mega swelling immediately. My parents of course claim I did this on purpose (I know it truly boggles the mind!) I wanted to go to prompt care but my parents for whatever reason thought that ER was a better option. As it turned out that was better because I was on the low end of the priority list & the room had a TV in it. The Bears were playing to advance in the playoffs so I was really glad to have the TV in there! The gave me a painkiller & ice and basically left me alone for a few hours (although the resident & tech kept coming in to check the score! lol) The attending said that in sprains like this there is a 50-50 chance of the ligament pulling a piece of bone off so I had to wait for x-rays. Thankfully there was no bone damage! I'm on crutches for 2 weeks and can't drive for that long as well. This is a pic I took last night- sorry for the cruddy quality. I took it with my phone since I really didn't want to get up to get my camera.

So this pic is 3 days in- lovely isn't? I'm telling you when I do something I do it all the way!

Now I can say that I'm getting some rest but not as much as I thought and I'm doing a ton of reading. So that is the story on this side!

A really nice read

2011-01-14T11:39:00.004-06:00

OK- honestly I'd wanted this book for awhile & bought it for myself for my birthday (back in September!) so why I didn't read it until last week I have no idea! It was a really nice, easy, inspiring read. So are you wanting to know what I read???? Or should I tease you some more???? That's so not nice so I'll just tell you what I read. Made from Scratch: Discovering the Pleasures of a Handmade Life by Jenna Woginrich. You can wonder on over to Amazon and find it HERE. You all know that I've been reading more & more on homesteading & living a more organic self sustaining lifestyle. Princess Bear (PB) loves looking through my issues of Countryside & Small Stock Journal and Hobby Farms magazine and telling me what kind of animals she wants when we finally have our own place. Jenna does an incredible job of detailing her life as an urban homesteader in Made from Scratch. She even details her mistakes so you can learn from them. I love that! I love when people are honest enough to say "yep, blew it on this one". I wish I got get my dad to read this book- then I might be able to talk him into getting a few chickens and a bee hive. My parents are completely scared of having a hive because of PB and think chickens are a disaster waiting to happen. Today (I think) PB and I are going to be making homemade butter as detailed in Made from Scratch. I've read other accounts on making homemade butter and have been curious but never enough to actually take that step. Well, I found a marble the other day when I was cleaning my room so it just seemed like a sign! I have to go to the health food store to get PB some vitamins so we'll buy some cream while we're there and make some butter today. If that goes well I'm sure you'll be reading about my bread making endeavors soon! Jenna also has a blog called Cold Antler Farm which you can find HERE. Its also on my blog list. If this kind of thing interests you check out my blog list next week as I've been scoping out some homesteading & urban homesteading blogs that I want to follow. I'll be adding them to my blog list next week sometime.

Well its PB's first day off school and we're going to do some errands, clean, take mommy to the Dr for her reoccurring sinus infection and then make butter. Does it sound like a fun day or what???? Actually first I have to peal the child off the ceiling because she overheard my sister & I talking about taking the kids to the Imagination Movers tour! Have a great weekend!

Sometimes parents need to be slapped

2011-01-13T17:40:00.004-06:00

Ok- I'll be the first to admit that I find it fascinating to watch Toddlers & Tiaras. Frankly Princess Bear is the kind of child that would LOVE to participate in pageants and part of me would love it too! I just know that the world is cruel and although I think my daughters gorgeous the rest of the world is not always kind. Anyway I digress. Last night I was cleaning and puttering around & I watched Toddlers & Tiaras. (no need for an intervention its not on my usual viewing schedule just an every once in awhile weird guilty pleasure). Last night was about 3 little girls named SamiJo, Jacklynn and Alexis. I'm going to focus on SamiJo's mom. This woman is so out of touch with reality it isn't even funny. SamiJo is her 4th child and evidently its a really good thing SamiJo was a girl (the other 3 are boys) because otherwise mommy might have been locked up on the metal ward because she so desperately wanted a girl. She wanted a girl so she could have her participate in pageants! She actually wanted to name the child "America" so she could go by Miss America. Yes the woman was apparently serious! I don't remember exactly how old SamiJo is but she was participating in the 12-23 month category. The mom's goal was Grand Supreme (don't quote me here but I think thats the title she was vying for). She actually had this baby spray tanned!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let me repeat that for those of you who didn't get it or don't believe it- a child under 2 years of age was spray tanned for a beauty pageant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OK- now I can go into the fact that our skin is our biggest organ and at least 60% of what we put on our skin is absorbed and this idiotic mother is possibly signing her child up for a lifetime of problems that might include cancer but I won't even go there. I just am in disbelief that the woman did that! Now I get that in pagents there is makeup but there are some really incredible organic options so ok. I get that hair is a big deal & this moms use extensions & wiglets. Its part of the crazy of it. You want the world you know that there are some things that just go along with it! Alexis' mom dragged her to the salon to get her unibrow waxed and the child was hysterical (hey mom- have you ever heard of threading? Lots less painful and equally effective!) I just don't get this mom's that are dragging this kids around and a)compromising their wellbeing or b) making them crazy with the prep work needed. How can you say your child loves being in pageants when the prep work leaves them in tears or might possibly have them in chemo &/or radiation later????

Please understand that I'm not bashing the pageants themselves. If its your idea of fun go with it but when its an all consuming, health wrecking, hysteria producing hobby maybe its time to reconsider?

Also before someone jumps my case that there is no proof that spray on tanning is a bad thing can I also remind you that there was no conclusive proof that tanning bed tanning was dangerous until recently. I'm also the first to say that the idea just royally pisses me off. I LOVE tanning. I was willing to take the risk when tanning was truly one of the only things that relaxed me and helped with my SAD. Now when you tell me that there is no doubt that it can is cancer causing I'm just pissed.

Now back to crazy moms- I just want to know if these moms watch this episodes of Toddlers & Tiaras and if so what they think. Better yet- have you seen it? What do you think?

Fear sucks

2011-01-12T11:40:00.002-06:00

I took Princess Bear (PB) to the Dr yesterday. Something has been just "off" for about a week. She'd been complaining of headaches and her legs hurting. She's always bruised easily and the Dr has just said its her body. Well yesterday he wasn't too worried about her headaches but was worried about her bruising and pain. He ordered a TON of bloodwork. PB is absolutely terrified of needles and I can't say that I blame her considering all that she's been through. Some of the things the Dr. ordered where a CBC with diff, metabolic rate, sedementation rate, protime, epstein barr virus, and monospot amoung others. He was basically checking everything he could and checking clotting rates in addition. To say that I've been a mess for the last 24 hours is a mild understatement. I've been walking around with tears in my eyes. The Dr's office finally called back- everything is fine except for the fact that she's dehydrated. I've got a water bottle at school for her but I'm willing to bet the teacher hasn't been using it so I've got to talk to her. Other than that I'm going to be pushing lots of water! I'm so happy & relieved I feel like I could cry! Thank G-d my baby is ok!

Ok- its just getting scary

2011-01-11T10:19:00.002-06:00

Ok- this is going to be a political rant so please be forwarned! For anyone who reads my blog there are a couple of things I'll put out there before I start this rant and leave it up to you if you want to read on. I'm just posting this because if nothing else it is a way for me to work through things.
-I used to be very liberal thinking in my politics and am now very conservative
-I think Barak Obama is a HUGE mistake for this country. I cannot stand the man or most of the things he stands for.
-I love Glenn Beck. This does not mean I believe everything he says because I don't. That said I do believe and share many of the same thoughts he does. The thing I really love about Glenn Beck is that he never wants people to just take them at his word. He tells you where he read or found "X" fact and lets you decide for yourself. I personally think he's one of the most honest people in the media and doesn't treat people like an idiot- thank you very much Mr. Beck!

Now on for todays rant. We all know what happened in AZ over the weekend and anyone who wants to rub 2 brain cells together knows its an awful thing. NO ONE should ever lose their life or become endangered because of someone else beliefs, sane or not. It is truly the definition of tragedy. Now the part that I have a HUGE problem with is the media and some politicians and authorities trying to blame this act of atrocity on those who want to see America going back to its roots. Less big government. The tea party being accused of being violent just boggles the mind. Also the idiots spouting this are probably the same people that are whole heartedly Obama supporters. You know the same guy who says things like "If they bring a knife to the fight, we bring a gun" For the entire quote you can go HERE or google it. (nothing like bringing football fans into Obama- another irk especially since I think the Eagles are a low down backstabbing organization for the way they treated McNabb but thats another post right?) Know isn't it grand that we have a President that is so young and hip that he wants to quote The Untouchables? Wow President Obama you're so cool! Unfortunately there really are those who think he's a man of the people because he can relate to them. They like the same movies,music etc. (Yeah did anyone hear about Obama liking NAS and admitting his daughters turned him on to NAS. What are your kids doing listening to him? Apparently its ok for NAS to say nigger but not for that word to appear in Mark Twain writings so Twain is going to be edited. Again another post right?) One of the big people that were blaming the conservative media and tea party movement was the Tucson sheriff. He used a tragedy to deal with topics that a)had no bearing or proof to back it up and b)a platform for the illegial alien dispute. Frankly if the Tea Party movement was a violent movement I think someone would have made sure that idiotic bastard pay through the nose for such ludicrous statements. I can't stand that when someone or a group doesn't agree with the popular opinion that they are the first to be strung up and always portrayed as violent with absolutely no basis. So that is my rant today.

Are you serious?

2011-01-09T11:24:00.004-06:00

OK- now I realize that my mom has some problems & apparently my dad is right there along side her. On Friday night my dad made dinner. Instead of cleaning up he left the olive oil on the main counter near the edge. Yesterday my parents were leaving for my mom's work party. Now Princess Bear (PB) had tried helping and got out the bean salsa/salad my mom was taking. Well the counter was cluttered and the bowl was big & heavy. PB wound up spilling some on the floor. Ok- I wasn't pleased but such is life. It cleaned up fairly well.

I was back in my room. Mucking it out as a friend says. Ugh! Too much stuff and too little space! Anyway next thing I hear is a loud crash, breaking glass & yelling. My dad starts screaming my name so I go see what happened. The whole thing of olive oil had broken in a million pieces. So there is glass & olive oil everywhere. My parents have to leave for my mom's party. My mom does try to play it nice and apologize for leaving me with a mess. If she would have left it at that it would have been ok. Instead she added "but the counter is a mess & I told you that". All my life I've listened to my mom spout off about how you never add a "but..." to an apology because it negates the apology. THEN SHE DOES IT!!!!!!!!!!! At that point I was way not happy. I start cleaning up the mess and cut my big toe. Not awful- I pulled the glass out and went about cleaning. Well, evidently it was worse than I thought because I realized I was tracking blood. Then the phone rings. I knew it was my mom so I let it go to the machine. My mom is screaming like a deranged lunatic for me to pic up the phone. So I pick it up. What was so all important that I HAD TO PICK UP THE PHONE RIGHT NOW???? She had to tell me to check the cabinets to make sure they didn't have oil on them. Hello- that you couldn't a) leave on the machine or b) wait until you get home????? WTF??????????

So I proceed to clean up glass and oil. I went through copious amounts of paper towel. Then I vacuumed and sprayed Alice's Wonder Cleaner on it (this stuff is the bomb of homemade cleaning supplies!). Then vacuumed again. Then I proceed to spot spray again & vacuum the entire kitchen to make sure there wasn't any stray glass. Sure enough there was. So I go through and vacuum it again and really get underneath the cabinets and in all the nooks & crannies. Then I mop the floor with Alice's Wonder spray and then spray it down with a vinegar rinse. Where the oil spilled I did this 3 times. I really wanted to make sure no one was going to slip and fall on their butts!

At that point I was seriously pissy. I also had to go to my uncle's house to let the dogs out & feed them dinner. Now if I had agreed to that I would have been fine but my parents accepted this errand for me. So I'd spent more than an hour cleaning up the kitchen & then I had to go to my uncle's. PB didn't eat dinner until after 7pm.

The rest of the evening was a bit better & I got PB down for bed and was settling down to watch the Jets vs Colts game (the Colts are my backup team). My parents come home, proceed to wake up PB and feed her some cake. Hello????????? Then they hold her and my mom & dad proceed to tell me how its my fault that my dad didn't put the oil away. I was doing dishes & he couldn't get over to where it belongs. Um, first of all he never has a problem telling me to move over. Then theres the fact that he could have still put it in a safer place and put it away anytime in the 24 hours it was there. So my parents are completely and sincere in placing the blame on me. It takes a special kind of fucked up, doesn't it????

So my parents are holding PB and I'm trying to watch the end of the football game. Colts were down and there was 2 minutes on the game clock. Yes I understand that that really means more like 4-7 minutes depending on commercials, time outs and whatnot. My mom starts screaming that PB needs to go to bed NOW!!! I tell her that I'm watching the end of the game & then I'll put her down. They didn't care when they woke her up. Nope my mom has a complete shit fit & insists that I put her down ASAP. So I turn on the game in my room & watch it with PB. The Colts kicked a field goal and were up by 2. WOOHOO!!! Then in the last 4 seconds of the game the Jets did the same thing & won. Ugh! It was a perfect ending to a crap night.
Oh wait- I forgot the best part- after busting my butt to clean my dad told my mom to be careful because I probably did a shitty job cleaning up. Love that vote of confidence!

I'm still just amazed that my mom did the apology but thing and that they honestly think the whole mess was my fault. Oh I also got the "Almost all of our fights are about you" lecture. Yeah- then you have problems but it isn't me! So that is the story around here for now! Thanks for letting me vent!

Sarah

Man- what have I done this week????

2011-01-06T17:35:00.004-06:00

I know I've been busy and haven't been sleeping because my insomnia is really kicking my butt at the moment but I have NO idea what the heck I have been doing!

On Tuesday I had an appointment with the Dr to reschedule my carpal & cubital tunnel surgery. To say I am freaked out about this surgery is an understatement. I have this huge fear of something happening to me and Princess Bear (PB) being left with my parents. My friend Suzy spent my waiting room time assuring me via text that I had to do this & I'd be fine. Well, I left there with the surgery scheduled for Feb 18. The recovery time is 6-8 weeks with no driving for a couple of weeks (its longer than traditional carpal tunnel surgery because they have to do my elbow as well). I left there feeling ok about everything and 18 is a lucky number to boot! Well PB asked me what I'd done that day so I told her which brought up my upcoming surgery. My daughter FLIPPED OUT! She started crying and told me to fire the Dr. Then when I assured her I'd be fine she demanded to be allowed to go to the hospital with me. I told her we'd spring her early from school that day.

Yesterday my parents had their new recliners delivered and the delivery men were just leaving as I brought PB home from school. She was MAD! She was ready to come in the house & yell at the delivery men to get out of her house & leave her furniture alone. Yeah- think she has a problem with change?

I'm reading a great book that I'll tell you more about when I'm done and I also received a copy of the Glenn Beck/ Dr. Keith Ablow book that I can't wait to read! Well that is life here. Back to digging out my room and rearranging once again!

Sarah

PB goes back to school tomorrow

2011-01-03T16:08:00.002-06:00

Princess Bear (PB) returns to school tomorrow. For some reason I'm dreading this. I think it could be because she seems a bit off and I'd rather have her at home where I can keep a close eye on her. She's been sleeping in and is rather pale and just not quite herself. We've had a pretty enjoyable vacation so I'm not chomping at the bit to send her back tomorrow. Then again I haven't accomplished much while she was home and I need to unbury my room by this weekend. I just hope things go well at school.

As for me I'm doing alright. I have an appointment with the Dr. tomorrow to reschedule my carpal tunnel surgery. I'm supposedly back down to 2 days a week at my sisters so I'm working on getting my life back. I've been making lists of things I want to sell at the salon and possibly online. I've been scouring gardening catalogs and making lists. I'm also reading more on homesteading and simplifying. I'm feeling pretty good about things. The fact that the scrabble tile necklaces did well have certainly done a lot to bolster my mood and made me plan on making more items to sell. Also I want to have some stock built up before I have my surgery. For whatever reason this surgery is scaring the bloody hell out of me. I've had surgery many times before. Had both knees scoped, sinus surgery (basically its having your face roto-rootered), my tonsils removed when I was 21 or 22 and then an emergency C section. I've never had any real complications from surgery. Some minor issues from coming out of anesthesia because of my asthma but nothing big. For whatever reason this surgery is terrifying me. Don't get me wrong- I want to have the surgery because I can't keep on living with this pain but its also got me really freaked out and I can't figure out why.

Other than that I'm going to be unburying my room this week. My parents have decided they're going in on Sunday morning to check things out and see if its "clean" enough. Yes, I completely understand how ludicrous this is. Then again my room is a major pit at the moment (compared to the slightly cluttered mess that my mom freaks out about) so I'm not adverse to doing a major cleaning. I just hate that its on my parents timetable. Such is life I suppose.

The only other tidbit of news is that I'm looking into the paralegal program at the local community college here. Its certified by the ABA and since I have a degree already its a 1 year program plus an internship. The money is nice and would be enough for PB and I to move the heck out of my parents place and not have to worry constantly. That is really important to me because once I leave here there is no coming back so I want to make sure I have all my ducks in a row so PB and I can live a life that isn't filled with a mommy constantly freaking out about how to pay X or Y. This certainly is a job that will be soul satisfying but I figure I can work on that when we're out on our own.

So that is the news on this side!

Sarah

Another year- what oh what shall I do with it?

2011-01-01T22:07:00.002-06:00

Well, things have been rather rocky here but that seems to be par for the course. I've done a lot of thinking and some soul searching lately & have been making plans. I don't usually do New Years Resolutions because I think its one more way to fail. That said I think I'm going to change my way of thinking about them this year and make a list of things I'd like to do in 2011 and take it as a challenge but not to beat myself up if I don't get everything done. I think this will be a very healthy thing actually. So without further ado here we go!

In 2011 I want to do:
-get my scrabble images special order book finalized.
-get my room cleaned in a way that it can be kept up easily.
-blog at least 3 times a week. I feel better when I do so I should work at it, right?
-work towards losing 1 pound a week.
-exercise 3 times a week.
-work on my meditation at least 3 times a week.
-write one real letter twice a month.
-get a stock of flip flops made so I can start selling them in April or May.
-put 3 hours a week into working on my barrette stock.
-get Sarah Simplifies going again.
-to start standing up for myself especially with my family.
-have a garden that I want this summer.
-learn to can.

Well, that is all I can think of right now. I'll add more if I think of it. Well here's to a happy, healthy and motivated 2011!

Sarah

I suck......

2010-12-18T11:12:00.003-06:00

Ok- admittedly life here is a bit out of control but I still suck! I had been on such a roll! I hope to get a bit more centered & back on track. I do have a lot of ranting to do so that might be a recent post! Anyway, we're trying to get ready for Christmas & I have to drop off some Scrabble tile necklaces so I'm off for now but not too long!

OK- I guess I volunteered.....

2010-10-16T12:55:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I had Princess Bear (PB) at the pediatrician's office for a variety of reasons. I asked him what he thought of entering PB in the Miss You Can Do It pageant. I passed the idea by my dad who thought it was a bad idea. I think PB who LOVES dressing up would have a ball. The Miss You Can Do It pageant is especially for special needs girls between the age of 4 and 25. It was started by Miss Iowa 2008 Abbey Curran. I think the pageant is an awesome idea! What a brilliant way for these girls to feel like "normal" girls for a day! Well, PB's pediatrician thought it was an incredible idea too. He said I should contact Dr. Morgan who runs a play project for kids with special needs. He told me to tell Dr. Morgan that he sent me to talk to him and what would it take to start a pageant like that in Peoria. Huh? I was just looking at doing the pageant in Kewanee. Evidently the ball is rolling and I'm going with it. I'm not sure what I think. Event planning is what I went to school for and I'm damn good at it. Isn't it weird the way things snowball?

Fall- how I love thee!

2010-10-15T12:38:00.003-05:00

So what do you think of the new blog design? I love fall as we've talked about and I really love Halloween! Add my love of vintage graphics and this design was just calling my name!

Lately I've spent some time thinking and trying to come up with fun Halloween stuff to do with Princess Bear (PB). As I've mentioned I'm pretty hard core into Halloween. Its second only to Christmas. This year PB has a countdown to Halloween calendar that is the same basic premise to an advent calendar. At first she tried telling me she didn't want to do it because it was scary. Ok- this thing isn't scary in the slightest. She came around pretty quickly. She's now all set to dec the house out from the roof down. I've also been pondering why I love fall so much & why its my favorite season. If you think about it there is no way it should be my favorite season. In addition to all of my depression and anxiety issues I've dealt with my entire life my sister & I both suffer from SAD in a major way. My mom jokes about how her daughters turn gray by the middle of December. Since I now know that I've got a rather significant vitamin D insufficiency to boot I should be all about warm sunny weather. Nope! Nothing makes me happier than the sight of leaves changing colors, the coolness in the air and if I'm lucky the occasional scent of burning leaves! I think I like the idea of hunkering down. At least in theory. The idea of being cuddled up with a good book, a cup of tea, a cozy blanket and PB and my cat. I almost wished I lived on a homestead somewhere we were were more or less snowed in! Anyway back to fall. I would love to decorate for fall. Unfortunately money aside and lack of already owned decor my parents are very into decorating. One of my favorite blogs to check out just for the visuals is Aunt Ruthie's Sugar Pie Farmhouse. You can check it out HERE. Her house is most definitely a dream house (I think I have 2 that and a log home unless I could combine the best of both!). I love how she has decorated for fall! I did get PB a little sugar pumpkin and 5 mini pumpkins a week or so ago. I think I might have to scrimp up $10 and go to the dollar store and see what autumn things I could come up with. Maybe a leaf garland or two!

All of this led me on a search for some country/prim blogs. As I just mentioned I love Aunt Ruthie's Farmhouse and I love log cabins. I think I love the feeling of warmth they convey. That and the fact that when I think about what kind of women lived in these houses in the past they were strong women! I love reading Country Sampler Magazine. The ideas in there are fabulous and I love to turn down pages for ideas I want to remember for whenever PB and I get out own place. The idea of a comfy, warm, pretty country house or log cabin absolutely delights me. I think maybe because I don't feel that in the home we're in now. It also kind of ties into my whole wanted to homestead idea. I mean to you see a modern style house in the middle of 40 acres of wooded land? Nope, you see a farmhouse or log home. Something to blend into the setting.

This is also something that I've been thinking about lately. Back when Mason and I were serious (or as serious as we could be at 19 & 20) we talked about renovating a farm into a house. As I got a bit older I became slightly obsessed with log homes. Then I came to the realization that I wanted to live in the city. Peoria is as about as small as I can handle. I love the city and all that it entails. I was actually terrified of living in the country. I always dwelled on the horrendous what ifs instead of looking at the wonder of not being packed on top of one another. Then in the past couple of years I'm all about wanting to get back to the land and living in the country.

My therapist and I actually had a really interesting conversation about this awhile back. She thinks its due to a stalking incident that occurred when I was living in NC on my internship. I woke up one night and something wasn't right. I had left the light on because my roommate had gone out. When I woke up it was dark and someone was standing next to my bed. Yeah enter major freak out. Somehow I kept my wits about me. I asked Mr X what he was doing there. His reply was that he'd been watching me for a long time. At the time I didn't know what that really meant. I told him that he had to leave. He again told me that he'd been watching me for a long time. At that point I was completely freaked. He then reached over to turn on the light and I got a very good look at Mr X. A moment later he laid down a key and left the room. I freaked out. Now if I'd really been thinking I would have yelled right away because I was staying in an old barrack that was converted into dorm type rooms. Every other room on my floor was being occupied by guys that were in training to become Department of Corrections guards for the state of North Carolina. I loved these guys and they had kind of adopted me as a group little sister. If I would have screamed this guy would have probably left on a stretcher. Why didn't I scream? Honestly I have no idea. I don't know how long it was before my roommate came back but she realized that something was wrong. I asked her if she'd seen anyone in the hall and she got me to tell her the whole story. She and another intern decided the best thing was to call the police. Now since we were on federally owned property that meant the local police had to turn it over to the state police. That was the beginning of a circus act. Fingerprint dusting all over the room, questioning of me and my roommate (who had thought she lost her key & didn't report it. Turns out this guy swiped it from her). I was able to give a very accurate description and the police went to look around. All the commotion woke up the DoC guards in training and another intern who was one of my closest friends from Western. They did their best to calm me down. Someone suggested I should call my parents and let them know what happened even though it was really late. My mom swears she's never heard that kind of terror in anyones voice and never wanted to hear it again especially from one of her children. As it turned out the answering machine at my parents wound up recording the whole conversation which was saved in case the case went to trial. My friend Bob (the other intern from Western) slept on the floor of my room since my roommate didn't want to stay there and I was literally so scared I was glued to the bed. Bob is a good old country boy and brought a knife to the room and offered me one as well (don't worry I declined!). The next morning all of the DoC guys checked on me first thing. As they were crammed into my room the police showed up to say that they had arrested a suspect. The DoC guys insisted on all walking with me to the police car to ID the guy. Man did I love those guys! Sure enough they had the right guy and he was taken into custody. This was the friday before Labor Day weekend and my big project was planning and coordinating all of the Labor Day activities. I spent all of that friday on the phone trying to figure out things. I really just wanted to pack my bags and go home. I called my advisor and told her what happened. I only had a week left of my internship and had everything planned and set up for the Labor Day weekend but I was a mess. I just wanted to get out of there. My advisor said if I cut my internship short regardless of the reason I'd fail the semester. The next thought that was bounced around was my dad & uncle flying out there. Ok- you try pricing the flight for 2 people last minute, labor day weekend to coastal North Carolina. I quickly turned down that idea. My dad & uncle offered to drive out. Again while I appreciated it I didn't think it would help. Now add to this that I called the police station to see what was happening as far as me filing charges against this idiot. Are you ready to poop bricks sideways? They released the guy! Without my knowledge or asking what my intentions were about pressing charges. He was in the Army and told to return to Ft. Bragg immediately. WHAT???? That is when I really lost it. There was next to no security where I was at. The grounds were extensive and not well lit at night. We literally were on the Cape Fear river on one side and 2 blocks from the ocean on the other side. We decided the best alternative was for me to get a car and rent a room at a hotel in Kure Beach which was about 15 or 20 minutes away. When I asked the police why they released him they said he was in the Army and remorseful for what had happened. Hmmm, ok- what about the fact that I'm terrified? I asked about pressing charges and they said I could but the Army could and would just send him out to the field every time we would be scheduled for court. Nice huh? Well you can try going after him but the Army will protect him. Nothing like the good old boys club! So I spent the last week of my internship in a hotel room. So this is the basic reason that for a very long time I was terrified of living in a secluded location. I wanted people everywhere! Back to the conversation with my therapist. She has a theory that the brain has a wonderful capacity to heal itself and that my desire to live in the country is an indication that I'm no longer as traumatized by the stalking incident. I think she might be right. I think it will always be in the back of my mind and that at times I might react to things badly because of it but its no longer dictating where I want to live. The brain is pretty amazing isn't it????

An exercise in frustration

2010-10-14T16:23:00.002-05:00

I've been helping with my nephews a lot. This started before Luke was born because my sisters carpal tunnel was so bad she could barely change Tyler's diapers. I stayed there for a week when Luke was born so my brother could be at the hospital with Kate during the day all day. I was ready to go loco by the end of it. I love my daughter & I love my oldest nephew almost to adoration. The two of them together are fun but absolutely feed off each other. One night I actually went to Kroger to just be by myself for a little while- thats how much I just needed to escape for awhile. My sister has had one health issue after another since giving birth and I've spent almost every weekday out there helping her. Now my sister is the family golden child while I am the black sheep and she is perfectly aware of this. Add to that my sister is a very difficult person to please and its a hard situation at best. Frankly I need the money and I adore my oldest nephew who really didn't deal with the adjustment to being a big brother and really needed some special attention and love. My sister just called me to bitch about the state of the basement. Ok yes its my fault I forgot to go back down there and pick up. Tyler and I had gone down there to play because my sister & Luke were taking a nap in the family room. The basement isn't as much fun because there are only a few toys down there and Tyler isn't supposed to watch TV with me (I'm supposed to engage him while I'm there). That all said Tyler is recovering from a bad cold and was happy to just chill with Aunt Sarah & look through catalogs. Yes, my nephew is addicted to catalogs! :) My sister called me and asked me to come up because Luke needed a bottle and she had to pump. I said we'd be up after I cleaned up. Well I didn't get everything cleaned up before she was going crazy telling me to come up now that she was putting Luke in the bouncer. Now did she start a bottle warming? Nope. So I get up there and start Luke's bottle and make more juice/ pedialyte for Tyler. Fast forward several hours and I got Tyler down for his nap and then Luke. I fell asleep holding Luke. (man, I hate when I wake myself up because I just snored!) Well, my sister called to complain about the state of the basement. I immediately apologized. I forgot, not much I can do but apologize. She then asked where the TV remote was. I don't know! We didn't watch TV! I told her that and she went into how Tyler obviously moved the remote and I wasn't watching him and if they couldn't find the remote and my bil couldn't watch TV he was going to be pissed. Um ok I can understand that. Now lets talk about the reality of it- a very short in stature not quite 3 year old couldn't have hidden it in that many places! I offered to come out there and help her look. Its a 20 minute ride and I'm glad she declined. I feel bad that I forgot about picking up. I am getting paid so I should have done a good job. The remote will turn up so please calm down! The people in my family truly have no coping mechanisms. Now they will tell you that I am to laid back and lazy but honestly I don't see the point in completely freaking out. I do my share of that but try to keep it to a minimum. My stress level is too high as it is! So that is the story of today! Hoping tomorrow is smoother!

Computer time

2010-10-13T17:27:00.002-05:00

Man- I am one of those people who can all day on the computer and accomplish next to nothing. I've noticed the more tired I am the easier it is to do. I'm about wiped out at the moment. Princess Bear (PB) had a 5 hour coughing attack. By the time she fell asleep the wheezing and gurling breathing had started. It was a fun night. This morning I let her sleep in since I knew she was exhausted. I hoped on-line to check facebook and my email. Then I started looking for pumpkin stencils. I'm a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to pumpkin carving but the other side of me thinks the pumpkin stencils are pretty spiffy too. I just have a hard time paying for such things (and if I do I make a copy of said stencil so the original is around & can be used again- yep I'm cheap like that!) While browsing I found a Thomas the tank engine stencil for my nephew and a Notre Dame stencil for my sister (my sister went to Saint Mary's which is an all girls school across from ND and she is a huge ND fan). I also found a few cute stencils for PB to pick from. Then I finally delivered PB to school shortly after 10am. Usually I sign her in at the office and then she walks to her room. She was dragging her feet a bit today & I asked if she wanted me to walk her. Oh yes she did. I think she still wasn't feeling well. I'm so glad she wanted me to walk her. Her room is the complete opposite end of the building from the office so we decided to cut through the library. In the library they were having dental techs putting sealants on kids who signed up for the program. PB saw that and was about to turn and run. I assured her she wasn't going to have to do it and we continued on our merry little way. It was too cute "I don't need that- I'll take a pass thanks" even better was an old friend from high school is teaching there now & heard her and got a chuckle as well. She's just a darn cute kiddo!

After that I went to my sisters to help with my nephews. This is probably a post all on its own so I'm just skipping it for now. I picked up PB at school and we came home and I went to sit down at the computer for just a few minutes. Well, its now 2 hours later! I first started looking for pumpkin cream cheese recipes because our cupcakes from last night are ok but not wonderful. I did find some yummy looking recipes. Then I looked into cake pops. I've been hearing and reading about these A LOT lately especially since Bakerella's book is now out. I'm considering trying to sell these at the salon. Not to brag but I'm a pretty dang cook cook and I've been making candy with my mom since I could stand on a stool and tie a bandana around my head. I'll keep you posted! Then I started thinking about the on going war in my house over food budgets as well as a friend who is on an insanely small food budget b/c her soon to be ex is such a prick. That started me on the search for budget recipes, poverty cooking and depression era cooking. This also led to slow cooker recipe searches as well as a second on Once a Month Freezer cooking. I would love to find more freezer recipes that are good. Anybody have any suggestions?

Now while I did find lots of information I blew 2 hours in what felt like a much shorter amount of time. I'm also realizing that I need to get new reading glasses and or new contacts because my eyes are not happy. Everytime I think about getting new contacts I always want to go with a cool color....maybe green this time? Ok- off to make dinner because PB is starting to cough and she didn't get to eat last night because of the coughing attack- ugh!

Hmmm people are curious

2010-10-12T16:17:00.002-05:00

Sorry- I really didn't mean to disappear for more than a week. Actually there were a couple of days that I could have really used the outlet of blogging. This past weekend was my dads birthday and in her typical fashion my mom started a war with me to ruin my dad's day as well (anyone seeing a theme here?). Everyone in my sisters house has been sick with some sort of ick. Today was the first day I saw my nephew since last week. He was so excited to see me- the child really does make my heart sing! Poor kiddo is still really stuffed up :( Usually getting him down for his nap is pretty easy. Today he was so miserable that he couldn't get comfy. Then when I tried moving he activated a death grip on my hair.

Today after I dropped off Princess Bear (PB) at school I was on the way home and saw the person otherwise formerly known as my best friend. If you don't remember this story here's the LINK Anyway, I've spent a fair amount of time since the holidays last year thinking about this situation. A mutual friend who had a similar incident with Jessi thought I should just keep on reaching out to her and let bygones be bygones. That would be all sorts of well and good if we were both equally guilty parties here. As it is I did absolutely nothing wrong so I don't feel like I'm supposed to be the one to suck it up and try to make it better. A few weeks ago I ran into Jessi's mom, aunt & niece in Target. I said "hi" and her mom actually pretended like she didn't hear me. Hello- I'm like less than 3 feet from you. This woman has had me her in house more times than I can count. Now because her daughter decides to start acting like an idiot she's going to pretend not to hear a greeting? Its not like I really wanted to say hello but since I've known the entire family for over 20 years I figure its the polite, mature, adult thing to do. Afterwards my mom said I should have mentioned to her that I was the one who was being wronged. Yeah you saw that correctly- my mom stood up for me. Thats a rare occurence! Anyway, her birthday was a couple of weeks ago. I spent a good part of the day trying to figure out how to address it. Finally around 9pm that night I asked Maria what she thought. (Maria is one of the four people that compromised the best friends group) Maria mentioned that she thought about that earlier. She said it was a tough call & it really shouldn't be. She asked how I would feel if Jessi didn't respond. To me it would just be one more nail in the coffin of a 22 year friendship. She could have reached out on my birthday and didn't. She could have reached out when my dad was ill which she knew about and didn't and she didn't reach out when I had MRSA and was sick as hell (that was before I took her off of my Facebook friends list). At some point you have to say that no matter how hard you try its pretty damn hard to shake hands with a fist. I did send her a text on her birthday and wished her a happy bday. Of course nothing from her. Back to this morning. I'm getting ready to turn onto my street after taking PB to school. I see 2 walkers. One of them is Jessi. Honestly I could have waved but I see no point. I figured I was being nice by not running her over. Ok- I probably wouldn't have done that but the thought was slightly entertaining. I'm really at a point in my life where I'm done with being treated like shit or being taken advantage of. Its happening entirely too much & I don't have it in me to keep on dealing with it.

Weekend from H#LL!

2010-10-03T22:12:00.003-05:00

Ok- as a parent I realize that weekend down time is a precious commodity. Since I have been spending the last several months helping out my sister I have a sense of having no life of my own anyway. I've been trying to make some positive changes in my life: doing yoga a few times a week (I've been trying a series of positions recommended for helping with depression in whole living magazine. You can check it out HERE). Trying my best to get to sleep between 11pm and midnight (supposedly helps reset your pineal gland/ melatonin production). Now for a classic night owl who occasionally suffers from insomnia this has been no easy task. The biggest accomplishment by far has been cutting down my caffeine intake. Pepsi/Coke is my friend. I went from having a minimum l soda a day to a max of G-d only knows how many & sometimes throwing in coffee for good measure to having caffeine every other day or so. For the most part its been a 12 oz can or a medium cup. Today was my worst day at 24 oz but I've greeted 2am the past 2 nights so I needed it. I'm trying to not let this weekends lapses become habit breakers. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Friday my mom & dad came home early, completely exhausted and in a mood. They've been helping out at my sisters almost daily as well. My mom & I had a talk about how the house really needed to get cleaned up since I am returning to my sisters this coming week. I had every intention of getting it done or as close to done as possible.

Saturday morning comes & I'm up and moving by 7:30am. Not bad for me. I spend time getting the living room and dining room straightened as well as the kitchen and several loads of laundry. Then Princess Bear (PB) had her swimming lessons at 11:30. Those are only a half hour but by the time she showers off, dries up and is dressed again we're lucky to be out of there by 12:30pm. From there we went to CVS because I needed some Febreeze Air Effects that was on sale for $2.99 and I had a $1.00 coupon. I know that Febreeze isn't the most green item to be using but its to combat the smell from using the green Swheat kitty litter. The stuff works well enough but there is no absorption of odors whatsoever! My mom called once while we were at CVS asking where we were (honestly I cannot be anywhere other than home and not receive a phone call asking where I am). While we were at CVS I received several texts messages from an acquaintance/friend that lead me to believe she was suicidal. I sent her a few text messages telling her not to do anything and tried calling her with no response. I sent a text to the therapist we both see telling her what was going on and got no response from her. At that point I called 911. Can I tell you that if you call 911 and tell them that an acquaintance has sent you text messages indicating a plan to commit suicide but you do not know/remember her last name and have no address (the 3 phone numbers I had as well as email addy were relatively useless)that they aren't very happy. Apparently it makes there job much harder. To say that this whole scenario left me feeling extremely rattled would be a minor understatement. I was totally emotionally drained. I continued to periodically send her texts reminding her nothing was that bad & to think of her kids. We ate lunch and about an hour later the police called me to tell me that they found her & she was fine. Relief. I then decided that I wanted 20 minutes to just decompress. My dad was ok with that plan but my mom, bil and nephew returned home and somehow I was put in charge of the kids. They left my nephew here while they went to mass. Not a huge deal but still took up my time. Then I helped my dad with dinner so my mom could rest. Then came me cleaning up from dinner and trying to then get PB settled for bed. I got some more laundry done and researched a few things I needed to online. Then around midnight I remembered (??) that PB had a birthday party the next day and I needed to make the gift- UGH!!!! I worked on that for awhile & then did some cleaning in my room. Around 2:45am I decided the best bet was to call it a day.

I was up and going by 7:30am today. After making a sorry attempt at breakfast (pb&j on toast) for PB and myself, I cleaned up the kitchen by putting away clean dishes & washing dirty as well as taking out the garbage and doing more laundry. I then spent another hour finishing up the birthday gift. After that it was time to take PB to Sunday school. Once we got home PB was ready to go to the birthday party. It was still a bit too early so I fed her lunch, we wrapped the gift and left the house. As I was leaving I heard back from my therapist asking if I'd heard anymore. We text a few more times and then I got gas and we were off. The party was about a 1/2 hour from here. Now if I was still living around Chicago a 1/2 hour to get somewhere is nothing. Around here that is a really long time. PB made the comment (and was completely serious) that she thought we were in 'fornia! I was so proud of myself because I thought we were going to be on time for the party (I am late for everything!). Well once we hit the frontage road the real fun began. Try 2 wrong turns that lead to some really pretty country driving but ultimately made us a 1/2 hour late. Luckily we weren't the only ones. As soon as we arrived Bella's grandma asked us if I had any plans for us this afternoon. Ummm, no not really. Good, the zoomobile is getting there until 2 and we can't eat until after that. By the time all was said and done we left the birthday party around 5:20 and headed home. We left the house around 12:15! I was beyond exhausted! My dad then needed help in the yard while my mom simultaneously needed help with dinner. While dinner was cooking I got PB in the bath. Then dinner and cleanup again. After that PB wanted cuddle time so we watched Jonas L.A. After that I did the rest of the kitchen and put PB to bed. This takes us to 9:20 Sunday night and my moms most recent blow up about how I'm not doing anything I need to around the house and I'm continuing to fuck up and that everyone says the only way I'll stop is to get kicked out. Did I miss something? Did I not help? Did I get done everything I would have liked to? Not nearly but not from lack of trying or jacking off with my time.

Oh I forgot the best part- on the way back from the birthday party I received 3 text messages from the acquaintance I called 911 about yesterday. Basically telling me that I was butting in where I wasn't wanted and to leave her alone. Yep, I had a great freaking weekend!

I could mention the stress from a friend that is really getting to me or the fact that my daughter is really needing more downtime with me. Yes I know I'm feeling sorry for myself. I'm just so sick of trying & not at least getting credit for what I am getting done. I think I'm going to get ready for bed and hope like heck this coming week is smooth. As I typed that I remembered that I'm spending all day every day at my sisters. Honestly- is the concept of me time just a dream????

So I'm a bit stuck on the idea of vacation!

2010-09-22T22:51:00.002-05:00

So to extend yesterdays theme a bit I've revisited my small obsession with vintage campers. I love camping. I'm the only person in my family that has done any kind of camping at all. I've done tent camping, non tent completing roughing it camping in December in Illinois camping and for the most part enjoyed all of it. (Have I ever mentioned that my major was recreation?) Anyway, I would love, love, love to be able to do some camping with Princess Bear (PB). Unfortunately I don't think she's ready for out in the wilds camping. I can't quite trust her enough not to go off adventuring when I turn my back for a second. She has no fear and LOVES any kind of animal so I'm seeing DANGER DANGER DANGER! Anyway, back to my vintage trailer obsession. Have you done a google search lately for vintage campers? Seriously do it! You'll have so much fun! This started when I read an article last year in MaryJane's Farm Magazine which if you haven't read it go to your local newsstand or Barnes and Noble and grab a copy! Here are some pics from a recent google search I did.

Gotta love a classic teardrop camper!

Look at this cutie!

I think the flamingo is awesome!!!

Awesome awesome awesome. I need to show this to Steve! Can I have the barn too please???

I love the welcoming hibiscus tree!

Seriously- could it get any cuter??? Nope I don't think so!

I've also got a thing about window boxes and this is so dang cheerful!

Ok- check out the globe lamp above the sink!!!

So did any of this pics inspire you to hit Craigs List & look for vintage campers???

Sarah

Better late than never!

2010-09-21T22:08:00.003-05:00

After reading my friend Jen's blog about traveling and the World Heritage List I was going to write this post yesterday but I got bumped off the computer. I must confess that Jen is INCREDIBLY well traveled and I for one am pretty damn jealous. She is also incredibly funny & I love reading her blog Jen on the Edge so I guess I'll get over it! :)

Before reading Jen's post yesterday I had never heard of the World Heritage List. Its a pretty nifty little list. You can check it out HERE. As I said I'm not very well traveled by any definition. My family vacations when we were young were usually very nice but we were a big Disney family & tended to go there and Space Camp when we were young. One summer my sister & I did a week at Space Camp and then my parents picked us up and we spent a month going to various places in Florida. It was fun but I was seriously ready to get home by the end of that trip! I also took a really incredible geology/biology trip through the Southwest when I was in college. That was my first introduction to camping. The trip was definitely a wonderful learning experience- even though I fell on a cactus. Yes folks I fell ON a cactus. Thank G-d I have high pain tolerance! Anyway, I'm explaining all of this to give you a bit of background on my travel experiences. The only time I left the United States is when we went to the Niagara Falls & stayed on the Canadian side for a few days (which is incidentally where I had the best Italian food of my life!). I've got my wish list of places that I'd like to go to: Australia, Israel, Ireland, Scotland, England, Poland, and a tropical island or two. (If you want a fun read check out a Pirate looks at Fifty by Jimmy Buffett!)

Now back to the World Heritage List. The places I have been to are:
Mesa Verde National Park A very cool place that has an almost earth bound spiritual feel to it (if that makes sense)
Grand Canyon National Park (Ok- I really need to go here again because this was the last hike on my trip to the Southwest and after I fell on the cactus. My mom was so excited to hear my opinion on it and I reportedly told her "Its a big freaking hole in the ground" Have I mentioned I don't do tired well?
Mammoth Cave National Park Pretty cool if you're into the whole cave thing
Cahokia Mounds State Historic Site this place has a very spooky unsettled feel about it.
Carlsbad Caverns National Park The first time I ever saw a bat flight and it was awesome! I've wanted to have a bat house ever since!

Now here is a very abbreviated version of places I'd like to go (I'm leaving out places in the US because I figure I have a better than good chance of hitting those)
You can pretty much go with the ENTIRE list of Australian sites but a few must see are:
Kakadu National Park
Tasmanian Wilderness
Sydney Opera House
Australian Convict Sites

Historic Centre of the City of Salzburg
Palace and Gardens of Schönbrunn
Historic Cairo Actually Egypt is another place you could just put me down for the entire list. I used to be so good at reading hieroglyphics it was scary!
Palace and Park of Versailles
Palace and Park of Fontainebleau
Cathedral of Notre-Dame, Former Abbey of Saint-Remi and Palace of Tau, Reims
Skellig Michael
Old City of Jerusalem and its Walls
Vilnius Historic Centre
Medina of Marrakesh Again Morocco is another place that you could just put me down for everything on the list!
Tongariro National Park
West Norwegian Fjords – Geirangerfjord and Nærøyfjord
Cracow's Historic Centre Again, for Poland please insert the list. Being Polish is such a huge deal for my family and it peppers my speech & cuisine so I'd really love to travel it extensively.
Auschwitz Birkenau
German Nazi Concentration and Extermination Camp (1940-1945) Since we had family that perished in WWII I feel its a place I should go to not that I want to lest one never forgets its on the list.
Belovezhskaya Pushcha / Białowieża Forest
Historic Centre of Warsaw
Wooden Churches of Southern Little Poland
Villages with Fortified Churches in Transylvania
Historic City of Toledo Also, just a side note- the best, bar none absolutely the BEST marzipan candy in the world comes from Toledo!

This is just part of the wish list (I didn't even touch on the UK except for a few place in Ireland!) but my bed is calling so I'm out. What destinations are on your wish list?

OK- I disappeared but it wasn't my fault!

2010-09-17T22:14:00.002-05:00

Man- I really am trying to keep consistent here! I feel as if I've had another child or two! My sister has been sick yet again so I'm there everyday helping with the kids. Last week I was sick as all get out starting on Thursday. I mean like praying for death sick. I more or less slept from Thursday night to Sunday morning and then on and off Sunday and Monday. I'm still not feeling as well as I'd like but not nearly as bad as I was!

My birthday was on Tuesday and it was an interesting day to say the least. The day itself was almost perfect! I vegged, watched TV and bummed around in the morning and then went to Steve's to introduce him to Sons of Anarchy around 1pm. I found it almost alarming how at peace I felt just hanging out watching TV with him. We could talk or be silent and comfortable either way. I'm so the smitten kitten for him it isn't even funny. Then I had to pick up Princess Bear (PB) at school. I tried convincing Steve to go but no such luck. He really is a lone wolf kind of guy. PB & I took the car to the mechanics and then she wanted to see Steve. I told her I didn't think he was home. That argument wasn't going to hold any water with her! So I called & left him a message. It still wasn't enough for PB who wanted to see her buddy. We went to Culvers & picked up some ice cream. Apparently her game plan was to go to his house & leave it for him if he wasn't there- small problems with that plan! As luck would have it we were both turning onto his street from different directions. Fun was had by all! After we had our ice cream Steve took PB for a walk on the trail & then to the playground for a bit. She overheated which really seemed to freak him out.

After that I had a PTA meeting that my parents agreed to babysit PB for. I had asked earlier in the day if she needed to be fed dinner by the time I left & my mom said she didn't care. Since we'd been having such a good time at Steve's I decided to stay & let my parents give her dinner. Well that was the first thing that set my mom off. Then my dad felt the need to bitch about some random things around the house. I wound up calling my friend Suzy and bawling. I hate that I let them get me so upset. I also want to know what the deal is because my mom & I always seem to have a conflict on my birthday. After the meeting I got home and my parents had a little cake & gifts even though we'd agreed to postpone the celebrating for a week since my stomach is still not ok. I got Jenny McCarthy's Mom Warriors book. I read one of her other books and she really is a tiger when it comes to her sons autism.

So if we're keeping track of the birthday here is the breakdown-
Prize for giving the most effort to me having a good day goes to Steve
Prize for giving me the most grief & not even saying happy birthday to me goes to my dad
Prize for upsetting me overall goes to both of my parents
Prize for being a total joy and loving my birthday more than I do most definitely goes to PB!

New School Year

2010-09-02T07:18:00.002-05:00

Well, we've made it through the first few days of school without any major events. Going to school the first morning I was not very hopeful. Mason's mom & I sat there trying to convince ourselves and each other that it would be fine. Unfortunately the heat in the room was stifling but we were assured that once the kids got in the room the sensor would kick the AC on. Then the fact that the teacher told us that there were not any therapists in place was enough to drive us into a panic. I knew the staff had meetings afterwards so I waited until 4pm to call the principal. We had a rather nice chat & she is fully on board for watching Princess Bear (PB) overheat now as well. Therapists are now in place just not ready to provide services. Hopefully things will be moving smoothly by next Tuesday. Princess Bear is very excited about sitting at a big girl desk this year! Previously she always sat at a table so this is a big milestone for her. Here are some pics of the first day! I really hope PB always maintains this enthusiasm for school!

Make your own free digital scrapbook

Its that time of year!

2010-08-30T22:20:00.002-05:00

Yep, I'm talking about school starting! Princess Bear (PB) starts tomorrow. She's so unbelievably excited its a joy to watch. I really hope that she keeps that enthusiasm for school! Now on the other hand, I'm completely filled with trepidation. The school district is so in debt that its almost comical. One of the cost cutting measures was to fire all of the therapist that PB had worked with for the last 4 years. The therapist that had been with the school district for over 30 years! They decided to bring in district therapists. You know lower paid therapists that were not as qualified, not as experienced and generally not as knowledgeable. I don't understand why when there are budget constraints that special services are the first to be axed. These kids are not the ones that should be used as guinea pigs. They need stability more than any other group. She was previously working with an Occupational Therapist. Now she will be evaluated by an Occupation Therapist once a year and then be turned over to at Occupational Therapy Assistant. By trade my mom is an OTA. I am very familiar with what she had to learn to pass her boards. It is no easy feat and I'm not sure if I was pressed if I could do it. That said it is no where NEAR what an Occupational therapist is trained in. With a child like PB who has a huge variety of skills and delays it was so reassuring to have people who knew what they were doing.

Then we can discuss the fact that 1 year and 10 months after the school caught on fire the kids are finally going back to the "old" school. Small problem- they aren't done fixing everything yet!!!!!!!!! They also assured me that with the new geothermal system that the entire school will be air conditioned and that it no longer needed to be written into PB's IEP. Well, as of registration the A/C wasn't on or even tested yet.

Then there is a the fact that we literally live a block away from the school and on Saturday I received a notice of PB's bus schedule. Um, excuse me? My child never has taken the bus for the heat issue. Its just easier for me to take her. I have no idea why they thought she needed bus transportation this year but its not happening. I also wonder why if we live 1 block from the school and school starts at 9am why she was supposed to be at the corner at 8:22 for an 8:32 pick up? Seriously, what is up with that? We could walk there and back a time or two in that amount of time!

On the flip side this summer was more successful than summers past. Although not according to my mother who felt the need to tell me that one more time I blew a summer and didn't do enough for my daughter and therefore screwed her over. Could I have done more? Yes. I will always admit that. I'm not perfect and sometimes just downright lazy. That said my daughter has mastered many more of her sight words (around 45 of the 52 that we worked on). Do I wish she was reading? Of course! I also think that by Christmas she will be. So there is the big news on this front! I just hope that the school year goes better than I am anticipating because this knot in my stomach is not a good thing!

Fun & games- Dr's visits SUCK!!!

2010-08-25T22:47:00.003-05:00

Last week I called my pulmonologist because my asthma was pretty out of control. I figured he would prescribe prednisone and life would go on its merry little way. I didn't realize its been almost 2 years since my last office visit so the nurse called in the scrip but said I had to come in that week & see the nurse practioner. Ok. I love my Dr. He's very thorough and personable. The nurse practioner is also rather nice but a bit of a know it all. She decided that I needed to have a pulmonary function test done and it had to be this week so the prednisone would still be in my system. I could bring Princess Bear (PB) for the Dr's appointment afterwards but not to the pulmary function test (PFT). Um- hello single mom with a child still on summer vacation! My mom took the day off to watch PB for me. There are all sorts of rules to follow prior to the test. What meds you can take, limit your caffine (just shoot me now!), and don't eat for X amount of time before the test. Most of it was pretty simple but I needed my soda damn it!!!

The test itself was also pretty easy. Put a lovely little clip on your nose and insert HUGE tube into your mouth (think bad dentist visit plus some). You do some breathing exercises and it is recorded. Then you do a breathing treatment and repeat the breathing exercises. I usually use albuterol in my neubulizer and I hate it. The shakes I get afterwards are horrendous and last for hours. On the plus side it opens up my breathing & life usually gets much better. I had mentioned this to the nurse practioner and she switched me to Xopenex (a change that had been made for PB for similar reasons). I hadn't used the Xopenex yet but they used that for the PFT. I don't know how well it will actually work when my breathing is down the drain but the shakes afterwards were considerably lessened. WOOHOO!!! The test showed that my breathing functions are pretty well controlled by the meds I'm on. I then had to wait a bit to meet with my Dr. & the nurse practioner. They then took my vitals and my blood pressure which is normally fine sometimes borderline low was 180/90 and my heartrate was 103 (I've never had an issue with my heartrate before). Keep in mind that this is the medicine that I was LESS shaky on!!! I'm thinking switching meds was a pretty good thing! So that was my bit of excitement for today!

Mosque at Ground Zero

2010-08-23T12:33:00.002-05:00

OK- ITS ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why are we so wrapped up on this issue???? Better yet why, oh why did the Prez feel the need to weigh in on this issue????? As if any more fuel needed to be added to that fire! The man is not doing the best job running the country so lets just stay on national issues ok Barak????

Now here's the deal. There is no law at the local level so there is nothing that can be done to stop the building of the mosque at Ground Zero so there is no issue here folks. Now do we want to talk about the fact that building it at that location is someone insensitive and more likely borrowing trouble? Yep! I think its in extremely poor taste and a slap in the face to those who lost loved ones on 9/11. Yes, I've hear that the Imam of this proposed mosque is a wonderful peace loving individual and actually the Taliban has him on their radar. From the descriptions on the news and various shows he seems like the kind of Muslim that needs to be personified in this country. Unfortunately there is a preconceived notions of Muslims as a whole. I do think its a shame but it is what the country seems to be hung up on at the moment (you know the whole 1 bad apple thing).

I just hope that this hubbub dies down soon. There are so many other issues that we need to focus on as a country.
-Getting rid of Obamacare
-working on putting the education system in this country back together
-focus on conserving and preserving our earth and its resources
-Why have we already forgotten about the Gulf?????????? Lots of help needed there!

Of course this is just my opinion and worth exactly what I charged you for it! Have a good one!

OK- its so easy to be anti marriage!

2010-08-21T23:08:00.002-05:00

Now I will be the first to admit that given the opportunity & the right guy I'd love to give this marriage thing a whirl. That is my usual frame of thought on it. Lately as I'm watching my friends muddling through life and marriage I'm thinking that perhaps the single life isn't that bad (well with the exception of my clanging biological clock).

I have a friend S who I've known....forever. Its been one of those friendships that has weathered time and long periods of not being in each others lives but especially the last few years we've been close. Her mother was very similar in behavior to mine so she understands a lot of what I deal with. She was down her visiting with her 3 kiddos a few weeks ago and she took Princess Bear & I out to dinner. Watching PB with her kids was an absolute riot. One minute the were as thick as thieves and the next minute fighting like siblings. It was a great experience for PB.

I also know S's husband as we all worked at the same place around 8 years ago. For the most part their marriage was pretty good. Of course it had its ups & downs but they had pretty good communication & worked through things. He joined the Army several years ago and the kids are used to the military family lifestyle from what I've been able to gather. Now this is S's first marriage. She has 1 older daughter and did the single mother thing for a long time before becoming involved with and marrying G. I always admired the way she was able to handle the trials and tribulations of single motherhood especially with a mother that made life difficult to say the least.

Now this was G's second marriage. His first marriage produced 2 children (if you're keeping track thats 5 kids so far). Unfortunately the 2 boys from his first marriage are a complete mess pyschologically and developmentally. The boys moved in with S & G awhile back because the mothers rights had been revoked. Actually they had landed in foster care before G rode in on his white horse and rescued his boys. He then brought them home to S & the 3 girls and proceeded in becoming a father that went to work and came home and hid. S realized that the boys had some rather big issues that needed addressing and pushed G to make the appropriate appointments. These boys were a mess. Actually that is probably being kind to them. They were destructive as all get out and had no regard for S or the girls. They knew that S had no real means to make them listen and abused that fact for all it was worth. The Army was in the meantime sending G all of the green earth for training & school. S on a very constant constant basis let G know that she did not have it within her to take care of 5 children while he was gone. Now this might sound unfair but lets not forget the the 2 boys had no regard for authority and rules and were quite frankly a danger to S & the girls. Repeatedly S went to G and told him this was a BIG issue. Time and time again G ignored her.

S & G went on to become pregnant with their 4th child together which would have been the 7th in the house. They were both wanting a big family and happy about this. I remember talking to S and asking when she was going to the Dr to start prenatal care. Evidentally the Army policy is that you don't receive prenatal care until you are 12 weeks pregnant. I was horrified at that but S assured me that this was normal and in her previous 4 pregnancies she'd been healthy and had no problems so she wasn't worried. A few weeks later S had a miscarriage. I don't remember the last time I felt so bad for someone. She was having a horrid time at home because of the misfit boys and her husband was getting ready to deploy once again. Then out of the blue after 4 healthy non problematic pregnancies she miscarries. I will believe to the day that I die it was due to the stress at home from the boys.

Her husband deployed in Feb for a year and from the beginning it was a very rough deployment. She was dealing with the emotional and physical effects of the miscarriage. Then there the misfit boys as well as her oldest daughter about to graduate from HS and 3 girls 6 and under. That is a WHOLE lot to deal with. Her POS husband was distant most of the time and when he was around he was argumentative and hostile. Not at all sympathetic or caring like a good husband should be.

Time has been marching on and he has still been a grade A a$$hole. S was sure that most of this behavior was due to his diagnosed but untreated PTSD. In spite of it all she still really loved her husband and looked forward to him coming home so they could work on things. Throughout everything she stood by him, loved him and was willing to do the work needed to get things back to a happy and livable place for all involved.

I'm not sure when I started asking her if there was a possibility of him cheating on her. Since I'm very well acquainted with both sides of that story and everything she told me had warning bells ringing in my head I was pretty sure that was the case. S repeatedly defending him saying that he would not do that. Not only would he not do that to his wife but to his kids either. You see his father had been a cheating bastard and he knew what that was like. Now his father has gone on to have a family with the woman he stepped out with and G is now close to them but never forgot what his father had done.

Lets fast forward to G's R & R (for those of you not familiar with the military this is a break in a soldiers year long deployment for some Rest and Relaxation). S was waiting for G to get home on R & R so they could have a few weeks to work on their relationship. She maintained her thought that given time and work she & G could put their marriage back on track. Shortly before coming home on R & R G informed her that he would be taking the boys to live with his mother (another wonderful family trend as his mother is now raising all of her grandchildren). While S was somewhat relieved to not be dealing with the boys on her own she knew this was a bad sign for her marriage. At this point G came home on R & R and things went from bad to worse. He was completely distant and a really jerk. Again I asked S if he was possibly cheating and again she assured me that he wouldn't do that.

Guess what? He is doing that. The exact same thing that he thought his father was such an a$$hole for doing to his mother he has done to his wife and girls. Not only has he been cheating but he is ENGAGED to this other woman and is in marriage counseling with her. HELLO???????? Wouldn't go to marriage counseling with S who asked repeatedly but is going with someone who he isn't even married to????

There is more to this story and I'll try to tell it at some point in time but PB just woke up so I need to try to get her down. I just look around at my dear friend S watching her life implode around her and her soon to be ex and new fling flaunt their relationship and I can't help to wonder if maybe marriage is overrated.

Random ramblings!

2010-08-18T22:42:00.003-05:00

Well, I'm not quite sure what I did today but I was up and going all day (ok took a 20 minute nap!). I did a lot of driving. Drove my mom to work. Picked her up 2 hours later to take her to the Dr. and then back to work. Then home for a bit and then to my sisters to watch Tyler. It was going pretty well until my sister told me to bring the kids up b/c the baby needed a diaper change. Princess Bear opened the safety gate at the bottom of the stairs & she & Tyler went on their merry little way. I was right behind them but my sister still freaked out 30 different ways. Which lead to my parents & bil freaking out. I'm sure the bottom line is that PB & Tyler will not be allowed to see each other for awhile. The part that really sucks about that is they are extremely close & completely adore each other. Ugh!

I register PB for 2nd grade tomorrow. I'm so ready for summer to be over but I hate what the school year always does to her. Double ugh!

I took around 30 scrabble necklaces to the salon that I sell at in town. The owner was thrilled and loved them to death. Dumb me forgot to take any pictures before dropping them off! I'm also waiting for a shipment of the actual chain necklaces I bought to use with these. I emailed the seller on etsy but haven't heard back from her. Ugh ugh ugh!

On the plus side of things I had my once in every 3 months visit with my pyschiatrist yesterday. I haven't seen him since November (some 3 months, huh?) He agreed that my insomia was pretty out of control and wants to get that situated before messing with any of my other meds. I've also lost 10 lbs since I was last there. Not a lot by any means but a start to be sure!

So that is life on this side!

Ok- is the world crazy??????????

2010-08-17T22:58:00.002-05:00

I've been trying to get Princess Bear (PB)to start sleeping in her own room. The other day she made it to 3am! WooHoo! I also have given some thought of putting bunk beds in her room. The plan was a twin over a full bunkbed with steps instead of a ladder. My child falls at will on a very regular basis so I really don't think a ladder to bed is the best idea ever. One small problem- those bad boys cost a lot! I also thought about one of the fancy dancy castle or cottage beds. I saw one many moons ago that had a bed underneath with lights inside and then there were stairs going to the upstairs play area. At the base of the stairs there was a little picket fence toy area- just darling! Unfortunately when my computer crashed so did my info on it :( I did look at some beds in the same family thinking that possibly I could come up with some cool ideas and then find plans somewhere on line. That is when I stumbled upon this site. I had difficulty saving the pic so I could go to photobucket & share with you but here's a LINK
Um- am I misssing something? This bed is most definitely cool! I think most little girls would LOVE it but what parent is going to spend over $15,000 on a bed????? It reminded me of the Say Yes to the Dress I saw this past weekend. A 23 year old had a custom made wedding dress for $27,000. Um, ok I'm not sure about her but at 23 I was ready for marriage & wouldn't hold out tons of hope for it. Then lets discuss the fact of what $15k or $23k could actually be put to good use for.

Man, I can spend money with the best of them. I can blow money in a way to put some people to shame if and when I have the money but seriously???? What am I missing????

Weekends

2010-08-15T23:44:00.002-05:00

Ok- maybe its just me but at what point in your life to weekends become more chaotic than something to look forward to???? I'm not sure when this transition took place. That said I can also say that I'm incredibly bummed because my friend Steve said he'd go see The Expendables with me (I love Jason Statham!). Well, of course Steve is a bit flaky but I haven't seen the movie & I haven't heard from him. :( Men are truly such PITA's aren't they? I'm also getting to the point of looking forward to summer being over. Although the garden wasn't what I had planned on and there is still a month or two of growing time left I'm already looking forward to next years! School needs to start again although I'm beyond worried about this year. One of Princess Bears (PB) best friends isn't in the same room this year- something I'm so thankful for! PB still isn't reading yet which I had hoped would kick in over the summer but no such luck. Then the whole therapist situation is literally enough to make me sick to my stomach.

I had one more go round with my uncle over the cell phone. Its getting so completely old and I'm sure he feels that way as well but seriously do what you say & most of the problems would disappear.

I spent about an hour and a half with PB in her room today. Its perfectly cleaned up now. Things have been pretty good since I did the major gutting in July but she was slowly but surely not being picked up as well as it should have been. Sometimes I just doen't want to fight with her but why is picking up such a hassle? Honestly she spend and hour and a half in what could have been done in 15 minutes. My daughter has become quite the drama queen too. Her new line is that "______ is ruining my life" Sometimes blank is me sometimes my mom. Whoever she's grumpy with. Its so damn funny when she does it!

Well I'm off to finish up and order for the boutique to drop off. Hopefully I'll stick with this. It is an awfully nice release!

Ack- lets try this again!

2010-08-12T22:58:00.002-05:00

Yes, so once again I've fallen off the face of the earth. I have more posts rambling around in my head but didn't actual do them. I did realize that a lot of it was generally ranting and then I realized that it perfectly acceptable. As a matter of fact thats what this basically started as. So I'm going to try to blog on a consistent basis and not bitch too horribly much! Since it is late I'm just going to do a brief rundown of life in these parts.

-I am the proud aunt to another nephew. Luke is so cute and for the most part a very chill baby (unless you're changing him that is!) He had some big issues with jaundice and still is. He goes back to the Dr tomorrow & I'm worried that he's going to be re-admitted to the hospital because the kid is freakin' yellow! I don't mean a bit yellow I mean holy crap yellow down to the whites of his eyes!!!!!!!!!!!

-My daughter has had a pretty good summer all in all. It was more productive than some of our other summers but as usual per my mother I haven't done enough (ugh!)

-I'm starting to do scrabble tiles for the boutique I sell at. I'm dropping off the first set tomorrow. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I really do need some money!

-I'm still as, or perhaps even more, on my quest for sustainable living. Our garden is still doing well & I'm going to try making homemade ketchup this year!

-Apparently we're moving. This is with mixed feelings. My parents have lived in this house since I was 18 months old. Although things are not the best now it was always a place that was here to come back to. The neighborhood has seen a decline but my folks still were ok with it. Then our neighbor who literally has been like a grandmother to me my entire life told us she's moving into assisted living. She is truly one of the most amazing people I know. Princess Bear (PB) wants to go there daily just to visit. It would be impossible to log how many hours I've spent sitting on her front porch talking. Well now that she's moving my parents feel theere is no reason to stay. They wouldn't have moved and left her here but thats no longer a consideration. I did find the almost perfect house for all of us. It has a 20' x 46' garage with an attic. In addition to parking for 2 vehicles it has a workroom and 2 offices. In all but the worse weather I figured that 1 office could be a playroom for PB and the other a craft/ work room for me. Then we'd be out of there hair most of the time.

My Poor Baby Girl

2010-05-14T14:41:00.002-05:00

Princes Bear (PB) went to sleep last night so excited because she talked to her friend Shay who had major surgery yesterday morning and was relieved that Shay was ok. Ever since my dad's extended hospital stay PB panics about anyone being in the hospital. She was also excited because she had a playdate set up for Sunday with her other BFF Aidan who she hasn't seen since he transferred schools in October. His mom & I finally connected and the kids talked on the phone. It was so cute. Well, this morning PB woke up crying that her tummy hurt & running a 102.3* temp. I think this is pretty much wiping out our weekend! When I called her in at school I was actually put on hold. Evidentally this is hitting the school hard- joys of having kids in a germ factory. So that is the excitement on this end!

I love it when something finally clicks

2010-05-12T09:45:00.003-05:00

So I've really been doing a lot of thinking and looking into habits that I want/need to change. Its scary how much time you can waste online. Its just a time sucker! That said I'm going to be watching what I do online.

Now for today's post- I think there has to be some sort of rule that a father and his son cannot procreate within the same decade. It just doesn't seem right does it? Now I'll be the first to admit that I've had a habit of dating men that are a bit older than I am (not much older; thinking in the 8- 10 years older range). I dated someone when I was at Great Lakes who had his first son when he was rather young. So you have me at 25/26 dating someone who is around 34. His first son was around 14 at the time. His son and I had a great relationship. We used to spend a lot of time just talking about life. I was the adult that he felt ok talking to. I thought this kid was a really good kid over all. His dad I and were friends for a long time after our spilt too. Actually I have no idea why we aren't still friends but that's a whole different post. Anyway, Chris is/was a good kid. He wound up becoming a father rather young (like father like son, right?). I was worried for him when he and his significant other wound up having 2 little ones while they were so young. He seemed to be really in love with her though and really enjoyed being a father. I found out that his dad has remarried for the 3rd time (I think) and has had another child or two. Then Chris and his first wife split and he just had a son with the new woman in his life. I could also go into a full fledged rant on what the hell it is about men having a son that turns them into puddles of mush that doesn't happen with daughters but again I think that's probably another post. Now Chris is on to a new relationship with a woman who is actually several years older than he his and he just had his 3rd child. All of this and he's the age I was when I was dating his dad. I was so not thinking of having kids let alone 3 at that point. It just makes me really sad overall. Sad that his dad is still playing the fatherhood game while trying to get relationships right and sad that Chris is following in his footsteps. His relationship with his daughters is going to be strained. I don't have warm fuzzies about the relationship he's in now so I wonder about his future relationship with his son. Just sad stuff.

Just another Manic Monday......

2010-05-10T13:27:00.002-05:00

Man~ there's a lot going on but honestly I don't even know what!!! Princess Bear is doing very well in school & aceing all of her spelling tests so I'm a very proud mommy. Some weeks the words come easier than others but she's so close to really reading and so very excited about it. I think we'll have another bookworm in the family! When you tell her you have a surprise one of her first guesses is a trip the bookstore- there could definitely be worse things!

The weekend was riddled with lots of fighting with my mom. Big surprise, huh? I've also given up on the idea of having a "nice" Mother's Day until a) Princess Bear is older and b) we have moved out. My mom did come to the realization this weekend that the relationship we have is "unhealthy". She was actually surprised at this realization. Wonders never cease. Now the only downer of this realization is that she thinks all the changes have to be on my part. Baby steps right? I do feel like I'm in a position to take more control over my life & I feel really good about it so maybe things will smooth out all the way around!

PB is very excited- my parents bought a hummerbird feeder and we have one of my grandmothers left over that I'm going to clean as well. We put up the new one last night and PB was upset that the hummingbirds didn't come in droves. Patience young one! I've been pushing for a bird feeder so this is a good start! We have a very dear family friend that now as a wild turkey visting him daily and it eats out of his hand. He wondered if PB would like to see the turkey & called on Friday when the turkey was visiting him. PB got a kick out of it to see the least! It came within a few feet of us and she thought that was the coolest thing ever! I'm on a mission to plant some flowers so I can attract some hummingbirds and flowers as well as some seeds to attract other birds. I'm so immersed in my country lifestyle magazines and having a wonderful time with it! So thats the story on this end!

A case of the blahs

2010-05-05T09:20:00.002-05:00

So I've been coming to the realization that I have a serious case of the blahs. In an attempt to get myself out of this I've been doing a bit of life evaluation and contemplation. With everything going on I think one of the biggest things I need to change is my diet. For a few reasons. Losing weight, feeling better and eating better foods certainly can't hurt. I also need to make sure Princess Bear is eating well. We packed her lunch today & she was thrilled. A good old peanut butter & jelly, sliced strawberries and sliced carrots. Lunchtime at school is usually a diaster with fights and name calling so I'm hoping that her bringing her lunch won't cause any problems.

I'm doing some major housecleaning trying to get the rooms all neat and pretty so my mom can quit bitching and then we can start the summer with nothing over our heads. I'm also trying to figure out some fun plans for the summer.

So thats what is going on in this neck of the woods- oh so exciting I tell you!

Really- not truly to be evasive

2010-05-04T22:57:00.002-05:00

I'm not I swear! It just seems that my life is a force unto its self. I'm STILL fighting with the local school district and school board. I have yet another case of MRSA. If that isn't a kick in the head, guess what? Princess Bear has MRSA too. She was complaining about her head hurting. There was a little scab on Tuesday night. By Thursday night there was a HUGE, I mean ginormous bump there. On Friday night I got the great pleasure of putting my daughter in a bath, softening it up and emptying a pus filled mess. UGH! So thats life around these parts! Anybody else having fun?

Sarah

Man- if I get like this will someone hit me upside the head?

2010-04-28T14:56:00.003-05:00

I know, I know I've been hiding. Actually I've been bummed & busting butt on the new blog. Things here are just really weighing on my & I feel spread so completely thin. I just want to curl up for awhile and hide. When I join the land of the living I want my house to be clean and my life to be in some semblance of order and then I want to kick life upside the head for throwing so many damn curve balls this way.

Now since I've actually "verbalized" this I suppose that I'll get off my duff and start making things happen for myself! Stay tuned folks!

Sarah

Where is time going?????

2010-04-21T12:32:00.002-05:00

It seems as though this month is flying by. Although in some ways I feel like my life is very much standing still. There was one more blow out with my mother today. Same thing different day. Of course everything is my fault & I am the sole cause of all of her unhappiness. Ugh! The sad thing is that she really buys that!

My dad met with the oncologist yesterday. I was initially thrilled about this because the 2nd opinion my dad got from a Dr. was COMPLETELY different. We're not talking a bit different but totally different. The first Dr. told my dad that there was no way he would recommend radiation for my dad. Instead he thought surgery was the best option. The 2nd Dr. said that radiation would be just fine and the side effects would be much easier to deal with and my dad would have a higher quality of life with radiation. At that point my dad went into big time denial and was just going to take the wait and watch approach. My sister and I were truly at our wits end. Well, yesterday the oncologist tells my dad that if it was him he would wait and watch. My dad has to have the PSA test every 3 months and a biopsy every 6-12 months. Have they forgotten that the last biopsy left my dad with such a severe blood infection he could have died? He still isn't anywhere near recovered from the whole ordeal. Yet this is what they are going to do. Someone please wake me up when this is over, ok?

Ever feel like your life isn't yours?

2010-04-06T08:15:00.002-05:00

Right now I'm not sure whose life I'm living but it doesn't feel like mine; nor do I think its one anyone else wants to pick up. I will be the first to admit that I'm feeling overwhelmed but please I'm usually more together than this. Right now I'm in hibernation mood (ugh- this is when I need my therapist on speed dial!)

Another quick update.

-The results from my staph infection were able to be tested and guess what???? Its MRSA! A nasal swab test was done last week and I'm still testing positive for MRSA in my blood stream. I had to put bactracine in my nose for 5 days and then I'm supposed to repeat the nasal swab. So keeping my fingers crossed!

-My dad come home from the hospital & has a picc line in. The home health nurse came last night and took blood cultures from my dad. These bottles still remind me of mini wine bottles. We're hoping his infection is under control enough that the picc line can be pulled and oral antibiotics can be started.

-My dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Yes I'm perfectly aware that this is a highly diagnosed cancer and that it is supposedly easy to take care of with great results. This still doesn't take away from the fact that my dad has cancer. My dad who was always one of the strongest people I've known and is still reeling from this infection is now got to ask his body to fight even more. Yes I'm scared. Yes I'm pissed. The Dr is so lucky that I haven't nailed his a$# to the wall already.

-I am fighting with the school district and spearheading a parents movement to do the same. All of the therapist from Princess Bears school have been let go. The district is going to bring in there own therapist (ie less experienced therapist who they can pay less).

So I'm feeling a bit like my life is out of control & I'm not so ok with it. Hopefully I'll get over this pity party soon and just forge ahead and kick butt!

Sarah

Ugh....what day is it?

2010-03-23T11:51:00.002-05:00

Ok so life has decided to hand me a bowl of lemons. As soon as I unbury myself my happy ass is going to buy a bottle of vodka and have some lemon drop shots! Just the short breakdown:

- My Dr. signed off on the multiple visits for my staph infection. He said the wound was healing well and he told me what to watch for. That night I moved the wrong way and opened up the wound...ugh! The good news is that infection didn't restart and I'm just sore. I can live with that.

-My dad had a biopsy to check for prostrate cancer. This is after a month and a half of a Dr. blowing off my dads calls pertaining to the test results. He had the biopsy Thursday. By Friday afternoon he had a temp and wasn't feeling well. By Friday evening he had passed a few blood clots but the Dr. wasn't too worried. Late Friday night he temp went up and he was shaking uncontrollably. My mom took him to the ER because his heart was also acting up. They checked him out and sent him home! He wound up returning to the ER on Saturday when his temp went up. He was admitted that evening and started on IV antibiotics. His temp went down to 99* and we thought things were looking up. Fast forward a few hours and his temp went up to 102.5*- the highest it had been. Its been up and down since. His temp will stay down and we think they're going to release them and then he spikes again. We're now waiting for the infectious disease Dr. to show up and let us know what is happening.

-Princess Bear (PB) got 2 vaccinations yesterday. She was a real trooper and I'm very proud of her. The problem is that like me PB doesn't do very well with shots and has a big knot in each arm and is in a fair amount of pain. For the child who rarely complains I'm a bit worried. She wanted some tylenol but the most recent reports say that giving a child tylenol after shots is lessening the affect of some immunizations. My poor kid is having one hell of a time.

-I have an IEP meeting for PB in a little bit and I'm so worried. The local school district has pink slipped all the therapists and no one has any idea of what is going on. I have left messages for the interim School Superintendent and he finally left a message yesterday. Apparently he things a message will suffice....he doesn't know me...yet!

So that is the rundown on things here. Anybody else want to join me for a few shots?

Sarah

Staph Infection

2010-03-16T13:48:00.002-05:00

Ok- so it was mentioned to me this weekend that I've been ignoring this blog. I'M SORRY!!!! I have been concentrating on my other blog & and trying to get well. The following is a post about my staph infection that I shared on the other blog and I thought....hmmm....I should share this. Please share this with others you know as well. You don't have to link back here- just copy & paste if its easier. I just am still amazed about how much I've gone through for something that is relatively common but not much is known about it. So without further ado here it is!

Staph Infection

Ok- hopefully this doesn't cross the bounds into too much information but I thought since this happened to me & someone else I know that maybe a good general warning might be worthwhile! As I mentioned last friday I have been dealing with a staph infection. Let me tell you- it is NOT fun and it is REALLY painful! The amazing thing was that I had been at the Dr. with the staph infection and didn't mention because I thought it was a pimple! Yes you heard me right- I thought it was a pimple. Nothing more than an annoying little zit so I didn't mention it to her and consequently treatment wasn't started until 4 days later. In retrospect I could have saved myself so much time and agony if I knew the warning signs of a staph infection! Now this entire post is just from my personal experience and by no means am I a Dr but if you have something that looks like a pimple but is painful you might want to mention it to your Dr. Here is a bit of what the timeline looked like for me. Everytime I tell this to a different Dr I wonder if it would have progressed this much if I would have mentioned it the friday before.

Feb 26- Saw Dr. about a sinus infection. Didn't mention pimple like thing on my stomach.
Feb 27 & 28- was irritated by thing so I tried warm compresses
March 1- decided I was as smart as a Dr and tried performing surgery on myself (clearly never a good idea!) By the evening I was in very bad pain & called the Dr. after hours line. An appointment was made for the next morning.
March 2- Congrats you have a staph infection. Started Bactrim and told to apply warm compresses & come back on Thurs.
March 4- Returned for follow up. At that point my Dr. prescribed a second antibiotic to be taken with the Bactrim and a painkiller. A follow up appointment was made for Monday.
March 5- The infection had changed so much in 24 hours I didn't feel comfortable going into the weekend without my Dr. checking it again. Dr. agreed that the medical intervention was necessary but not quite yet (there wasn't enough infection centralized to cut into- gross I know!) An appointment was made with a surgeon for Monday afternoon. I was told if the wound opened over the weekend to get to the hospital as it would need to be professionally cleaned & packed.
March 6- still in a lot of pain and would was weeping but not open. The infection was very centralized by this point in time.
March 7- Again gross I'm sorry but the wound went from weeping to oozing and I began to fear that healthy tissue would get infected so I went to the ER. Dr. said I was very close to it breaking opening and would have been in before morning anyway. The Dr. gave me a local which is a horror story all its own but I won't share that! Then it was surgically opened, a sample taken in case the antibiotics don't finish clearing it up. The the wound was cleaned, irrigated and dead tissue was taken off. After that it was packed and I was told to keep my appointment with my regular Dr. and the surgeon.
March 8- My primary care told me to continue antibiotics and make a follow up appointment to have the wound repack depending on what the surgeon did that afternoon. Surgeon had no bedside manner whatsoever and yanked packed out without even warning me- grrrrrrrrrrr! After that he said it looked good & to follow up in a week.

All of this because it looked like I had a zit on my stomach and thought it wasn't worth mentioning to the Dr.
Moral of the story- if you're not sure have it checked!

I admit it- I'm a big baby!

2010-03-03T09:35:00.002-06:00

I have a staph infection & it HURTS!!! I mean like a bunch! I've been sleeping almost constantly trying to give the antibiotics & my body a chance to kick this thing. I go back to my Dr. tomorrow for him to see how I'm responding & if it isn't to his liking I'm going to be admitted for IV antibiotics. This would be bad on SO many levels. Princess Bear (PB) would not do well with me being in the hospital and my parents wouldn't do well with taking care of her for a few days. I'm tired & whiny and just want this stupid thing to go away! Off for another nap!

Parental Guilt Sucks!

2010-03-01T13:08:00.003-06:00

So from my last post you can see we FINALLY had new pictures of Princess Bear taken. We usually do a couple sets of pics at Christmas time but she was way too sick this year. One of the problems with taking pictures of Princess Bear is that she's on an eye drop that keeps her right eye constantly dialated so in theory her right eye will stregthen and we won't have vision loss like we've had on in the past. Well if you take pictures like that it looks REALLY weird. Her Dr is very good about this and took her off her eye drops in Sept. thinking we'd do pics and then resume right after Christmas. As it often happens with the best laid plans things went totally awry. So she's been off the drops for a long time & loving it. Long enough that she forgot how the drops really were. Last night was the first night of using them again and my heart just broke over and over for my poor baby. She has extremely limited vision in her left eye & the drops basically render the right eye useless. At one point last night she woke up to go to the bathroom and she was so upset that she just sat on the potty until I went back in that side of the house. I got her back to bed & was cuddling her and of course my mom starts bitching that I have things to do. Ok, I do but right now I think my priority should be making my baby feel better about what is going on. UGH!!! Fast forward to this morning and PB is still not totally acclimated to the vision situation and is repeatedly rubbing her eye. I try explaining that rubbing won't make it any easier that the drops are just working the way they are suppossed to. My mom then decides its the right time to bitch because I had PB off the eye drops for so long. Please shoot me now!

My happy girl!

2010-02-28T18:17:00.001-06:00

Personalize a free ecard

Need some input please!

2010-02-23T11:34:00.002-06:00

I have a situation that has been going on for a few months that is really upsetting to me and I'm looking for some perspective & input so I'm going to have a contest for any said perspective & input! Please feel free (please please) to spread the word on this. I'll leave comments open for 2 weeks. The prize will be a $10 Target gift card or a Topsy Turvy Tomato planter. I will randomly pick from the comments to award the prize.

Some background info:
-I have been best friends with Jessi since we were 14 (we're now 36 & 37) and there is a group of us that have been best friends since the same time. The other two are Monika & Maria.
-Monika is married with 4 kids, Maria is married with 2 kids, I am unmarried with 1 child, and Jessi is unmarried & childless. Jessi is also in a relatively new relationship with someone named Andy. Maria, Monika & I are less than excited about this relationship because Andy has DEEPLY hurt Jessi more than once in they short time they've been together. I have expressed to Andy my distrust of him & his intentions.
-These friends of mine are fully aware of the situation at my house and the relationship with my mom. They have been witness to it for years.

Now onto the "situation"
One Sunday night in November my mom & I had a huge blowup and she told me she wanted me out that night. I sent a text message to my 3 best friends asking if I could stay with them for a night or so until I could get into a homeless shelter and figure out my next step (around here you cannot just go to a homeless shelter at any time. You have to check in and hope there is room- something that cannot be done on a Sunday night). I heard back from Monika very quickly asking what was going on & if I was ok. She said she didn't have a spare room at this time but she could put the baby in her room if I needed to stay. She also asked if I'd heard from Jessi since she had the most room out of the 3 of them. I replied back that I hadn't heard from Jessi but would let her know what was going on. Monika continued to check in with me throughout the evening to see how I was doing. I heard from Maria around 10:30pm and she asked what happened & if I was ok. Her phone had been off and charging. I never heard from Jessi that night. Nor the next day, or the day after that or anytime since. My mom & I worked through things (kind of) and I sent a text message to Monika & Maria telling them I was fine and would fill them in when I could talk. My feelings were horribly hurt as the week went on & I never heard from Jessi. This is supposed to be my best friend & I haven't heard word one from her. When I was having a 6 1/2 year old party for Princess Bear since she hadn't had her birthday party I had invited Maria & Monika & their kids. I then realized I was being small & sent Jessi a message since Princess Bear does love her. I told her about the tea party & her response was that she'd heard about it. Ok- I told her about it a few months earlier & couldn't quite figure out her deal. I asked her what the deal was & why she was being pissy. This someone led to a texting situation and finally she said she hadn't heard from me. Hmmm- maybe because I hadn't heard from you since a really bad situation in my life & I was a little hurt. Her response was "I love you but I cannot live with you" Well, I didn't ask to LIVE with you- I asked for a place to spend the night for a night or two! I think there is a huge difference! Jessi ended the texting with saying she didn't want to fight with me. No I'm sorry or anything along those lines. At that point I went from having my feelings very hurt to just being upset. I didn't try contacting Jessi in anyway for a few weeks. Jessi then sent me a text a few weeks later telling me that Zeus (her dog) was very ill. At first I was still so upset with her I didn't even want to deal with her or the situation. I also knew that I was being ridiculous & this wasn't the way a 22 year friendship should be played out. I sent her a text asking what was going on & to keep me posted. Shortly there after (either that night or the next day) I put "Sometimes friendships need to be evaluated" as my facebook status. In all actuality it wasn't even a reference to her. The next morning I wake up to a comment on my status from Andy saying how when that usually happens to him he finds if he looks in the mirror that is where the problem usually is. WHOA! All I could think is that this A-hole really needed to back off. The comment wasn't about Jessi & even if it was she is fully capable of defending herself. What is he doing putting himself in the middle of this. Next thing I know a few hours later I'm getting flying text messages from Jessi telling me how hurt she is that I would put something on Facebook about her and that she is heartbroken. Again the status was "Sometimes friendships need to be evaluated". NOTHING ABOUT HER!!!! I really didn't even think she would think it was about her until Andy came running to her rescue which is exactly what I told her. I mentioned that it wasn't even pertaining to her and nothing. She just stayed with the thought that it was about her. Maria actually told her who I was thinking of when I wrote that status comment. Still hadn't heard anything! On Christmas day Zeus died. Jess sent me a text. I started to text her back & realized that is not how I would have dealt with it if we weren't at odds so I called her. Of course she didn't pick up the phone so I left her a voicemail telling her how sorry I was & to let me know if she needed something. Jessi got a new dog a few days later. Still haven't heard from here. I sent her a text a few days later saying I had a coupon for some organic dog food if she wanted it. We sent a few texts back & forth so I thought things were ok. We obviously weren't going to deal with the issue but just move beyond it. Ok- not the best scenario but I can deal with it. I sent her a text the next day & once again didn't hear back from her and we're right back to square one.

So, please give me your opinion on this situation. I really don't think I've done anything wrong & even tried to be the bigger person. I'm still so hurt by the way Jessi has acted throughout the whole situation. Never ever have I asked the 3 of them for a place to stay so that in itself should have let them know how bad the situation was. Jessi was also told that the facebook status was not about her. Instead of apologizing for jumping my a** she did nothing. I also think that Andy is a major part in all of this. He was more than willing to try to put the fault on me by telling me to look in the mirror and he knows that Monika, Maria & I are very skeptical of him. Unfortunately for me I'm the loud outspoken one and am the only one who actually shared our doubts with him. What he has to realize is just because I'm the only one who said something doesn't mean I'm the only one thinking it. He had made several comments to Jessi in the past about me hating him. Not true but I think he didn't mind that there was something to create a rift between me & Jessi and don't think he is an unbiased opinion for her to seek on the matter. So, tell me-
1) Have I done anything wrong?
2) Have I been unfair?
3) What do you think I should do about the situation?

I'm asking for your advice so feel free to lay it out there!

Thank you, Mr. Virus!

2010-02-22T15:23:00.001-06:00

I would like to thank the POS virus that invaded my daughters body leading to another Promptcare trip yesterday resulting in her being put on steroids once again and has apparently set up camp in my body too. Damn thing! Be gone with you!

New Blog

2010-02-20T13:31:00.001-06:00

Please take a look and let me know what you think!!! Also feel free to spread the word if you want!!! Sarah Simplifies

Just a day

2010-02-16T21:35:00.002-06:00

Ok- so I've got to admit I've really not got a whole lot. I'm trying to set up my other blog so when things calm down & can plow ahead with that one & I'm not feeling the best. I think a trip to the physicians assistant is in order. Now to find the time! I will share just a few of the quirks of my brain. Here we go with random musings!

-How does one know when they are seriously PMSy?
Well, if you happen to be me, it is a sure sign when you're sobbing watching The Wedding on Keeping Up with the Kardashians. The show isn't on my must see list but occasionally its fun to watch. Last night they had a marathon leading up to the season finale. I also have to admit at this point in my life I have not real tracking system for when its that time of the month. After one of my best friends was hospitalized for blood clots in her lungs I got off the pill much to my gyno's dismay. I'm not in a relationship of any type that would require me to keep track so I basically don't. (You should see the nurses face at a Dr's appt when they ask when my last period is- I don't know a few weeks ago) So I realized as I was watching the Wedding preps on the show & crying it must be PMS

and one last how do you know

-How do you know when your cat is too fat?
Ok, I admit it. I have a fat cat. This is not exaggeration. Last time she was weighed she was 15 lbs and she weighs more now. My sister & bil call her Jabba the Cat. So yes I am fully aware my cat is fat- she fits in with the household perfectly! That said when said cat is so fat she can not clean herself well & I have to clean her privates the cat is too fat! Bathing a cat is not fun if you haven't tried it, so Fluff is heading for a diet!

Well, that's it for this side!
Sarah

The Olympics

2010-02-12T21:52:00.002-06:00

Ok, so I admit it- I'm a big old sentamental freak but I always get teary eyed watching the opening ceremonies of the Olympics! Princess Bear wasn't very into but did want to carry a flag! My child has a innocence that I find so precious! If I could just protect her from the real world :( Now I need to go google several questions I have from watching the said opening ceremonies:

- Why is Ireland its own entity but not Scotland?
- Why are the Native People of Canada called the First Nations?

and there's a few more but frankly I'm about brain dead!

Sarah

Ugh!

2010-02-11T14:09:00.004-06:00

I'm seriously ready for some big down time. I have this feeling of being on a hamster wheel or something like it. Princess Bear (PB) has had another tough year at school this year. I understand that children need to learn about grades at some point in time. I also understand that my daughter is in a special ed first grade. Does she really need to know she got a "F" or 0%??? If it was a subject that we hadn't be having monumental struggles with I might not be so upset but I really feel like this is just another chip away at her self esteem. So, am I overreacting? Give me some feedback!

Another "pop" b&*ch

2010-02-10T11:24:00.004-06:00

So finally the drama seems to be dying down with the NBC Leno vs O'Brien fiasco. The article supporting O'Brien is SO not accurate it just makes me want to scream! What most supporters of O'Brien forgot is that in some ways Conan is getting EXACTLY what he deserves! Leno NEVER wanted to retire! 5 years ago NBC almost lost O'Brien and in a stupid attempt to keep him at NBC they promised him The Tonight Show in 5 years. Fast forward 5 years and NBC is still going forward with this idiotic plan. Let's not discuss the fact that Leno has consistently been #1. That apparently doesn't matter when you're faced with losing a "talent". Ratings don't matter. Or do they? Well, they surely matter when Conan comes in and flubs it up from the word GO. I must also mention that Leno's prime time slot did not do well. Then again I don't think that was a huge surprise to anyone. So NBC wanting to get the ratings back that they had enjoyed during Leno's Late Night tenure offer him a 1/2 slot before the Tonight Show with O'Brien. Once again O'Brien pitches a fit and starts spouting garbage about how it would be the end of The Tonight Show. HONESTLY???? Where did the man get his chutzpah???!!!??? As we all know Conan picked up his ball and went running home- bye bye!!! I can't wait for the return of the Tonight Show with Jay Leno! I can however wait a very, very, very (perhaps an entire lifetime!) long time before ever watching Conan O'Brien again!

Ok- of the soap box for the day!

Hola!

2010-02-07T22:34:00.002-06:00

Wow! I haven't been on here in FOREVER!!! I must confess I do miss it. I find blogging so soothing to the soul. Perhaps 2010 will be a much better blogging year! I have tried to keep up & check in with a few of my favorite blogs. It just seems like Princess Bear got sick with H1N1 and things went & stayed downhill for her for the duration. She had walking pneumonia over Christmas vacation and is flirting with it again right now. She's done with the antibiotics and she isn't coughing as much but is still not "ok" yet. This has not been one of our better winters!

As for me I've forgotten a lot of the sign language I learned last semester. I wish it was a twice a week class so I had more of an opportunity to use it. I'm excitedly planning our garden. January was so much fun with all the seed catalogs coming in! It was better than Christmas! One of my favorite sites is www.rareseeds.com I have decided that any seeds I plant will be heirloom or at the very least not chemically treated in anyway. In the past week and a half I have read: Backyard Homestead, A Slice of Organic Life, Country Living for Dummies, and The Victory Garden. I'm getting ready to start a gardening journal and can't wait to get the ball rolling on things! I've learned so much more than I did last year and that was a learning experience all in itself. I really hope that the garden is a success & Princess Bear and I can have a very back to the earth, self sufficient summer!

So, that is news on this side! I do promise to try much harder this year!

Will be hit & miss....

2009-10-19T17:23:00.001-05:00

Princess Bear has H1N1 flu & is one sick little kid. I will try to keep up with my posting but have to take care of her & hopefully not get this myself!

Sarah

Another catch- up!

2009-10-15T12:44:00.002-05:00

Sorry about such a short post on Tuesday & nothing yesterday. The weekend in Chicago, although a lot of fun, was totally exhausting. I also had a test in my ASL class last night. Add to that my mom being on one of her "If you don't get the rooms done to my liking you're going to be kicked out" kicks its been a bit hectic & stressful around here. Then like a dummy I forgot to take my Effexor for 2 1/2 days. Not a good thing. The test last night went relatively well. There were 2 signs that I just could not for the life of me remember what they were. Other than that things were pretty good. I'm getting things done (ie throwing out & stashing) in mine & Princess Bears rooms. I'm so sick of our rooms being such an issue. Then last night I took a nasty fall hitting my left knee not once but twice and twisting my ankle. I'm actually feeling pretty good today considering how bad my knee looks! Stairs aren't my friends right now but that's livable. I'm very relieved that my ankle is ok because I injured that ankle very badly almost 2 years ago. (Its never a good sign when the Dr. tells you that you would have actually been better off breaking it than what you did do). I spent the morning with my nephew & then did a bit of grocery shopping. I'm trying to get on a planned menu in an attempt to help with the grocery bills. I'll let you know how it works. Now I'm off to eat lunch & do some cleaning.

Survived the wedding weekend

2009-10-13T20:12:00.001-05:00

Ugh, this post is going to be oh so short & sweet. I'm still exhausted & I have a test tomorrow. The wedding for the most part was big fun & everyone survived. Like the dork I am I forgot my camera so I'm hoping some of my relatives forward pics soon! Princess Bear had a ball dancing & is anxiously waiting for another wedding....whose I'm not quite sure but hey the bottom line is she had fun so life is grand! Off to hit the books!

Sarah

Um....Excuse Me?????

2009-10-09T14:47:00.002-05:00

Ok I'm going to start this off with a few disclaimers. The following post has nothing to do with:

a) my political views or association

b) race or racist views

Now that all of that is out of the way can ANYONE (really truly anybody) please tell me how Barak Obama won a Nobel Peace Prize?!!!!!? Seriously, the man won a Nobel Peace Prize for his first 2 weeks in office and because he wants the world to be nuke free. Are you kidding me?!!!!? Apparently I'm not the only person who thinks so either. The following is from an AOL news survey:

Do you agree with the decision to award President Obama the Nobel Peace Prize?
No 69%
Yes 31%

Total Votes: 311,582
Note on Poll Results

When did the Nobel Committee take on political views? Aagot Valle, a lawmaker for the Socialist Left party who joined the committee this year, said she hoped the selection would be viewed as "support and a commitment for Obama." I think its all well & good to want to support Obama if thats what you want to do but do grant a prize of this magnitude on 2 weeks worth of work simply brings the Nobel Peace Prize to a new low. This prize has always had a prestige about it that I think is now lost. Its kind of like little kids sports teams who give every player a trophy for participation. "Mr. President sir we admire what you say you want to do. Here's your Nobel Peace Prize". Yep, you could say that I'm slightly incredulous that Obama received this honor. The only thing that is remotely good about the whole ridiculous event is that Obama is giving the $1.4 million prize money to charity. Not that he really had a choice. Can you imagine the public outcry if he would have kept it?

Ok, I've vented enough for now. I have bathrooms to clean, laundry to wash and a TON of packing and preparing to do before departing for Chicago & my cousins wedding. Have a great weekend!

Ack....where has today gone?!!!?

2009-10-08T14:31:00.002-05:00

If anyone can tell me where today went or if I accomplished something today I'd really appreciate it!!! Thanks!

Sarah

Random mutterings.....

2009-10-07T14:15:00.002-05:00

We're going out of town for my cousins wedding this weekend & I'm already stressing it big time. Travel with Princess Bear is usually ok since we've done so much of it since she was born because of various Dr's appointments so I'm not too worried about that aspect. Her portable DVD player is broken but she loves coloring so hopefully that will hold her. I'm concerned about her basic behavior at the wedding & reception. PB is very impulsive to say the least. She can definitely rise to the occasion and behavior like a little angel- when she feels like it. I'm just hoping the mood strikes her! The reception should be fun for her since she loves dancing. On that front I'm just worried about her overheating or her asthma kicking in which almost always happens when she dances. I also just remembered that she doesn't know the chicken dance & I've got until Saturday for her to get it down because seriously have you ever gone to a Polish wedding with out the following: Hokey Pokey, various Polkas and the Chicken Dance? Well that is what is on my mind right now....may the force be with us!

How much of a jerk is Jon Gosselin?!!!?

2009-10-05T10:48:00.003-05:00

So for awhile I've been nursing this "what a JERK" thing against Jon Gosselin. Before I go too deep into this blog rant let me say that I'm not a Jon & Kate + 8 fan- actually I've never seen an entire episode of the show. A few minutes here & there while flipping channels but by no means am I a fan of the show. I also never bought into the oh poor Jon routine. Ok Kate seems to be the louder and more in control of the two. Now it seems like she had to be. This man seems like such a spineless wonder its almost unbelievable. He got married & had his kids too young? Grow up dude! The fact that you started publicly dating within a month of filing for divorce is a bit classless when your family life has been playing out on TV. Your choice of new partners shows your glaring lack of judgement. If I were Kate I'd have big issues about you bringing someone with a record around my children! Just me though. Then TLC decides that they are taking your name off of the show title and going forward with Kate & the kids. Your response is a world class temper tantrum and halting production. You had no problem with your children's lives being played out on TV for years this sudden "concern" of yours isn't real and shows how desperate you are. The cherry on top though is you allegedly emptying out the shared bank account that is to support the family. Seriously what is wrong with this man? This guy was a nothing bartender that Kate should have probably never gotten mixed up with but it happened. She's got 8 gorgeous kids now and is doing her best to make sure they have a financially secure future. You can't unring the bell as far as having their lives on TV so for goodness sake Jon quit playing games and grow up!

I'm really not sure why I had to blog about this but for awhile now its been bugging me. Perhaps its the glaring immaturity displayed by Jon reminds me of those I have known. I'm also sick of strong women who aren't afraid to take control being portrayed as a bitch. Don't know but that's today's blog!

On a roll....green healthy living tip for moms

2009-10-02T18:44:00.002-05:00

OK, I'll really try not to get on my high horse here but the chemicals that have been approved for use in everyday items- even those that can be used on children is absolutely horrifying once you see what some of the hazards are. Please check out skindeep HERE or go to www.ewg.com. Your skin is your biggest organ & it absorbs 60% of what it comes in contact with. When everyday children's soaps and shampoos have endocrine interrupters that's a problem! With a little digging its very possible to find products that are much safer for your kids! Target is a great place to start!

It's Beginning to look a lot like Christmas....

2009-10-02T12:33:00.002-05:00

Ok not really (thank goodness because I'm so not ready yet!!!) I did want to share this link though. If anyone wants to send me some cookies to sample feel free!!!

Land O Lakes Holiday Brochure

TGIF or Ugh! Its Friday?

2009-10-02T11:50:00.002-05:00

Yes its official! Fall is here! My mom turned on the heat last night (over major protests from me & my father) and I made a "fall" dinner & I'm wearing a sweater today. For the most part I LOVE Fall. The leaves changing colors and pulling out my sweaters. Now there are aspects I don't like as well- yesterday was a perfect example. Yesterday was one of those rainy, gray, very dreary fall days. (I'm not a fan of rain at all- actually I'll go to great lengths to avoid rain). Today on the other hand is a perfect fall day. Its sunny & bright but cool. Just makes me want to go for a walk! Unfortunately I need to do some major cleaning today so I don't think I have time for a walk but maybe I'll sneak one in later. I've gotten Princess Bear (PB) into the habit of walking to and from Sunday school each week so if the weather holds out I'll look forward to a walk on Sunday! Well, I'm off to make lunch & get to cleaning! Have a great weekend!

Stuff you don't know about me (maybe)

2009-10-01T13:12:00.002-05:00

So I'm suffering from a bit of the blahs today. I'm completely exhausted for some inexplicable reason & had a go round with my mom last night that is still rattling around in my brain more than I'd like. I'm trying to stick with my blogging so I get back into the habit so I swiped with my from friends Heather's blog over at Wanting What You Have. (I hope you don't mind Heather!)

Stuff you don't need to know about me, but I'm going to tell you anyway

The phone rings. Who will it be?
Lately my cell is getting all sorts of calls from numbers I don't recognize and therefore am not answering. Other than that its probably my sister. House phone probably one of my parents

When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
Um this is one of those it depends on the situation answers. If I'm alone yes. If Princess Bear is in the car it depends on how close it it. If I can't I try to pawn it off an someone going into the store.

In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
Talker

Do you take compliments well?
Not usually as I find it rather embarrassing

Do you play Sudoku?
No, because you see my brain doesn't work like that. Also I have no patience, and I sweat when I think hard. DITTO!!! I tried but honestly numbers are not my friends (I reverse numbers so math has always been a challenge). I'll stick with crossword puzzles and logic puzzlers thank you!

If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
OK- how long do I have to survive? The night? A day or two? A week? Although most people would say that I'm a princess its often forgotten that I was a Recreation major and did enough camping to know what I'm doing. Consequently I would last awhile (with water please!) but thats all I'll commit to!

Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
Yep. My parents sent my sister & I to Space Camp several times when we were growing up. I then went on to work there as a counselor one summer.

What was your favorite game as a kid?
Clue

Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
In the past I would have said yes now I guess it depends. What are their beliefs? Can they respect your beliefs? What about kids....

Do you like to pursue or be pursued?
I like to be pursued

Use three words to describe yourself?
Funny, caring and outspoken

Do any songs make you cry?
no although bagpipes will often reduce me to tears. Its been worse ever since my best friends fathers funeral 3 years ago. Her mom is from Scotland and her brother is a piper and at the end of the funeral they piped the casket out. I completely lost it.

Are you continuing your education?
Yes I'm taking basic ASL (American Sign Language) and hope to become an interpreter

Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?
yep

How often do you read books?
daily

Do you think more about the past, present or future?
I tend to ruminate about the past and fret about the future while spending very little time thinking about the here and now.

What is your favorite children’s book?
I was really into the Little House on the Prairie Books. Can't wait to start reading them with PB

What color are your eyes?
Hazel. As in very moss green at times then brown, amber, and even have some dark blue thrown in. My sister & I are totally a battle of the genes when it comes to our eye color.

Where is your dream house located?
I'm not sure where but I'd love a log cabin that I could homestead in. Maybe Oregon or Canada

If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed?
Princess Bear and Fluffy (my cat is a BIG wuss who would hide otherwise) then my digital camera because I have so many photos saved.

When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
Man its been a long time. Probably more than a year.

Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
To my sisters which is about 20 minutes from here

Do you like mustard?
To a small extent. Its most definitely not my favorite condiment but I do love honey mustard pretzels!

Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
Without a doubt sleep

Do you look like your mom or dad?
Ok- everyone says I look just like my mom and my sister is the spitting image of my dad but that my sister & I look alike. My mom has a medium complexion, dark, dark brown eyes and black hair my dad is very fair with ice blue eyes and had reddish brown hair. I think my sister and I are a pretty good mix but my personality is a bit more like my mom's (more of an extrovert and kind of loud. My dad is very quiet for the most part)

How long does it take you in the shower?
Man I can log some serious shower time. Only because its my only down time but I can stay until the water turns cold. Not very environmentally conscience of me but I don't do it often.

Can you do the splits?
So laughing my butt off right now. Not even on a good day!

What movie do you want to see right now?
My friend Chris & I were saying we should do a move soon (I've been to 2 movies since PB was born & she's 6 1/2.) but that we had no idea what was out or coming out. Kinda sad, huh?

What did you do for New Year’s?
I let PB stay up until about 10:30 or 11pm and then I played on the Internet for awhile & saw that the Cubs traded DeRosa to the Cards & had to call Maria to tell her and then told my dad (if you're not a Cubs fan this was a very very bad trade and NO one was happy about it)

Do you think The Grudge was scary?
I didn't see it. See the about movie ? Plus I do not do scary movies well

Do you own a camera phone?
yep

What’s the last letter of your middle name?
e

How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
Usually between 3-5

Do you like Care Bears?
They're ok. I can take them or leave them

What do you buy at the movies?
Soda & chocolate- 2 staples in my diet!

Do you know how to play poker?
No- I pretty much suck at card games

Do you wear your seat belt?
Yep. Growing up my parents refused to move the car until everyone was buckled up. I've had enough close calls including being in the back seat and having my eyelid split open in high school. Bad enough but if I wouldn't have been buckled I'd most likely have lost my eye.

How many meals do you eat a day?
1 or 2 (I know this isn't good I'm trying to get into a healthier lifestyle)

Do you like funny or serious people better?
Have to go with funny

Ever been to L.A.?
Nope and have NO desire

Did you eat a cookie today?
As a matter of fact yes. My sister always has the Newman's Own version of Oreos- yummy!

Do you hate chocolate?
Big old NO on that!

Are you a gullible person?
Unfortunately yes.

Are you easy to get along with?
Most of the time.

Work at home?

2009-09-30T22:10:00.001-05:00

So I'm wanting to find a reliable work at home part time job. Anyone out there know of any legit companies? I'm tired of always being SO broke!!!!

Is it bedtime yet?!!!?

2009-09-28T22:14:00.003-05:00

Since I've been trying to stay with this I didn't want today to slip away without at least a quick post. The weekend was relatively low key. Princess Bear (PB) lost TV Friday for lying about the wallpaper. This seems to be a problem as she lied again this evening. I'm really not sure what to do about it at this point. I started my B complex supplement today. I was almost hyper for awhile afterwards and didn't nap today. Not sure if that's all because of the B complex though. I'm also doing the happy dance because the November issue of Country Sampler came out. I "read" this magazine for the first time 2 months ago and LOVE it. I love gathering decorating and crafting ideas. My files are FULL of them. This was the big Christmas issue & since I'm a Christmas FREAK I was a totally happy camper to see this. I really do need to subscribe though. Its $5.99 with 10% off at Walmart and $20 for 6 issues if you subscribe. Since the second edition lived up to the first I think that might be my Christmas present to myself. Now I must share this website with you. I saw one of the dishwasher panels in Country Sampler and thought it was an incredibly clever idea. I told my best friend that she & I need to have a few drinks and do some brainstorming like this! Then I caught the price. While I'm addicted to all things Christmas even I can't wrap my head around spending $65 or $70 for a dishwasher panel. Go HERE and let me know..... am I being cheap or not? Like I said- very clever & cute! but I think a bit on the expensive side! Well, I'm off to finish paging through Country Sampler and then study for a bit. Have a lovely evening!

Another day another "crisis"

2009-09-25T11:14:00.002-05:00

I have finally come to realize and accept that my mom has no (as in none whatsoever) coping skills to speak off and that everything that happens will result in some major crisis and have her saying that Princess Bear (PB) & I need to find a new place to live. Now I understand that the mess is somewhat a pain but its contained to our rooms mostly. PB has damaged some things in the house and thats not cool. On the flip side of if it my parents house is in need of a major overhaul. Not that it makes PBs streaks of destruction any less horrible. Yesterday PB ripped some paper in the bathroom. It was coming up at the seam and she just couldn't resist evidently. Know I know she shouldn't have done this and then to top it off she lied about it. I meant to tell my parents about it but yesterday was our typically crazy day here. I should have just patched it & things would have been fine (I've done this one other time as well). Instead my mom saw it last night and went completely and totally nuts. Crying ensued and the whole I want you to leave, you're the cause of everything bad in my life thing happened. It wasn't any better this morning. Then PB spilled this morning & it got on some of my dad's papers and glasses. I cleaned his glasses and when I did that the lens popped out. One more thing that is an 8.5 on the Richter scale. Now I'm not going to defend what PB did but I also don't know how much she understands the concept of lying or that it is a really big no no to tear wallpaper. Somethings really click with the child and other things don't at all. I also don't think that this is due cause to want to kick us out. I would like to live for just a little while without that threat constantly being over my head. It would do some much for my mental well being. Now I have to go cancel lunch plans with my 2 best friends who were treating me to lunch because my mom is in such and evil mood and can't understand how I can even consider going out for a few hours when I have so much to do. Ugh....calgon take me away!

Fall- I love it!

2009-09-24T13:41:00.004-05:00

Its really beginning to look like fall around here & I'm totally loving it! I love the rich beautiful colors of the leaves changing, the coolness (more would be ok!) the idea its time to start hunkering down. All in all it is most definitely my favorite season. I'm also a big fan of Halloween. Its my second favorite holiday and now that Princess Bear (PB) is getting bigger its becoming even more fun! PB had her heart set on this Good Witch costume It is really cute! No doubt about that but $45 is a bit more than I have to spend right now. A few weeks ago PB found a ghost costume that my mom had made for me or my sister forever ago. PB had a ball running around in it and decided that it might work for Halloween. I've also been going through the Halloween books & magazines I've saved & am looking for craft projects to do with PB for the holiday. Anyone out there have any good Halloween or fall crafts for me to try?

Since I took my "break" from blogging one of the things that has become a huge focus for me is homesteading & learning anything and everything I can about it. I would truly love to have a homestead to settle on with PB. I don't want to be totally of the grid just because I don't think I have the skills needed for that. This years garden was my first step in learning how to become more self sustaining. As I said the other day it was a great learning lesson. I didn't get as much of a crop as I would have liked but I learned a whole lot for next year! How to make my garden space more productive. I didn't compost this year but want to start small this winter so I have a good start for next spring. I was also told that under no circumstances was I allowed to do any canning. As it turns out I didn't have enough of anything to can other than tomatoes anyway. I've also been completely fascinated with the idea of root cellaring. My father has decided if the house stays in "order" for 3 months that we can discuss some of the root cellar options. I also want to try to set up a hoop house in our backyard to start seeds a bit earlier this year.

In this search for a more self sustaining, organic, and hopefully peaceful lifestyle I've been doing a lot of reading. In addition to Mother Earth News magazine (thanks Heather! without Heather posting about it I would have never been turned on to this great magazine!) I've been reading MaryJane's Farm, Countryside & Small Stock Journal, Backwoods Home, . There are a few other magazines I pick up occasional like Herb Companion and Country Woman but those are hit and miss. Mary Jane's Farm is great in that it has some great craft, hobby & recipe ideas. In this months issue there was an article on square inch gardening in your window sill for the winter. I'm so going to try that! I love Countryside & Backwoods home because they are mostly written by the magazines readers. People who have been there, done that and are will to share their advice. Now there does seem to be a trend in most of these magazines that I'm not on board with & that is the idea that you must learn to be self sustaining so that when the government collapses or drastically changes it is the only way you will be able to survive. I just don't see that happening. Perhaps I'm naive but I hope not. I want to be more self sustaining because I do think we're completely to reliant on everyone else for our basic needs. If there was some sort of disaster that made it so trucks weren't able to deliver to grocery stores so many people would have absolutely no back up plan. I'm not comfortable with that. I would like to have enough of my own food (including some grains) put up so that if there is a G-d forbid I'm not completely at someone else's mercy. I also like that when I grow it I know exactly what is or is not in it. I find this comforting. I've been trying to help my dad come up with some alternative heating/power sources. I think this is a direct result of being without heat for more than 24 hours last winter. I truly never want to be that cold again! I can see that having a wood burning stove as their only heat source is not something my parents want to deal with at this point in their lives. Unfortunately my dad won't look at any other options. To each his own I guess. Anyway, this is what I've been up to lately!

Augh!

2009-09-22T21:56:00.003-05:00

Sorry this is going to be short & sweet. I've just spent more than 2 hours trying to get Princess Bear to sleep. I HATE nights like this!!! Its a hot night so I know that is playing a part of it but this was ridiculous!!! My nephew fell asleep while I was babysitting him earlier today & my sister got pissed about that & now my kid fought sleep tooth & nail- ever feel like sometimes its just not your day? Well, off to do some homework & then watch the shows I taped tonight.

I love my garden

2009-09-21T22:13:00.002-05:00

Princess Bear (PB) & I had so much fun with our first garden. All of the seedlings I planted in the spring had gone to ruin :( It was a great learning lesson though. I really had no idea what I was doing. Since then I've read A LOT on gardening, taken a course at the UofI extension office & am considering taking the classes to become a master gardener. What we wound up with was carrots (still growing), peas- didn't make it for some reason, green beans had some nice sized but the plants didn't thrive as much as I hoped, corn- still coming in!, and more tomatoes than I know what to do with! We are bringing in anywhere from 1-2 dozen grape tomatoes daily as well as a few large (we planted beefsteak, heirloom & roma). Our pumpkins are looking like a bust- oh well better luck next year! I'm not done for the season though! I'm planning on putting in some lettuce in the next few weeks since they say that will grow through October here in Zone 5. I love the idea of fresh lettuce so late in the year! Once we had the garden cleared & tilled it really wasn't too much work. I do know that next year I want to try Square foot gardening so we have more return on our room. My dad says he's also going to give us some more space to plant next year. I figure if I start planning now that I will have a pretty good idea come spring what I want to do & be able to have a good return on all 3 crop times (early, main & late fall). I must confess that the big disappointment was the pumpkins not turning out as I expected. Live & learn right?!!!? Princess Bears main job has been bringing in the tomatoes every day. We learned very early on that once the tomato has some red on it that we needed to get it off the vine & into the house. We let them redden the rest of the way on the windowsill. If we let them get any riper on the vine the critters get them before we can! Not ok with me!!! I also want to try horse trough gardening next year. I used a variety of containers from the dollar store & UFS this year (& got to use a drill for the 1st time!!!) If anyone is looking for a great magazine to add to their reading list consider Mary Jane's Farm I can't even begin to tell you how much I love this magazine & how much I've learned from it in a few issues! I have a few other magazine recommendations to throw your way- another day! Its late & I hear the shower & a book calling my name!!!

Ugh...sickness & whatnot

2009-09-18T17:45:00.003-05:00

Soon I'm going to just scream if I can't get back to blogging with some regularity! Over Labor Day weekend Princess Bear (PB) & I house sit for my uncle's dogs. Princess Bear & I are both allergic to dogs but we love them & live with 2 of them so I didn't think house sitting would be a big deal. Yeah, by the time the weekend was over I was the owner of a lovely respiratory infection. My mom has been teasing me that when PB & I move out that we can get a poodle (supposedly wonderful if you have dog allergies). Ok, not to upset anyone that has a poodle but I'm just so not a poodle person! Most of my life we owned sporting dogs. My 2 favorite breeds are English Springer Spaniels & Boston Terriers (yes little but they have a big dog attitude!). I like Mastiffs, Newfies, Great anything (danes, Pyrenees(?)) If you haven't figured it out- I'm not much for small dogs. I think I might consider allergy shots!

Other than that life is still the same here. My mom & dad are threatening to toss PBs room at the end of the weekend if it isn't up to their standards. I'm so tired of this room thing! School is going well. I'm only taking one class, ASL (American Sign Language) 1. I was in a panic the first night of class because the instructor is deaf & there is no interpreter. Its actually worked out well & forced me to learn quickly. So that is the short version. I'll be back on Monday & give a long version of what has been going on! Have a great weekend!!!

Sarah

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-09-03T13:25:00.003-05:00

Ok so I mentioned back in April that I wanted to get back to blogging. My other blog is still down as well. I'VE MISSED IT HORRIBLY!!! Some of the lack of blogging is my fault but the majority of it is due to my parents irrational thoughts on computer time. They were convinced that my computer time is what was making it so I wasn't getting things done they way that they wanted so they placed a lock on the computer room door. Yes I am serious- not joking even a little bit. We won't even get into the fact that the computer is mine. Its a secret!!! :) Honestly its as silly as them locking the room. One of the things I've been really upset about is the lack of blogging in my life. This blog especially is such a wonderful outlet for me & I'm glad to be back. I don't know if I can do 30 days in a row with the weekends but all weekdays I'm here by myself count on blog posts! I'll work on getting my other blog up & going again sometime in the near future but that is going to take a lot more work. For now I'm just going to say "hi"! I'll do more on filling you in tomorrow!

Starting our garden

2009-04-24T11:54:00.002-05:00

OK...I am going to pick a day to start 30 days of blogging. Probably Monday. I've been doing lots of stuff to start our garden (not that you can tell by looking at the yard). I attended a hour & 1/2 class for beginning gardeners taught by master gardeners. It was such a good use of my time. I really learned a lot. I spent time pricing top soil and deliveries. Apparently by the time I get the pea gravel dug out I will need somewhere between 2-4 tons of topsoil. Our backyard literally has NO grass because my dad hates cutting grass. All well & good until you fast forward 20 years and want a garden! I'm also attending a conference for parents of special needs children that is from 8am to 3:45 tomorrow. I hope I learn a lot there as well! Here is a bit of our seedlings and where the garden will be in the backyard!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

And I thought I was on a roll!

2009-04-17T23:00:00.002-05:00

Well, I was doing well. Honestly I think I'm going to try setting a goal of blogging everyday for a month straight just to make it a habit again!!! We're all still recovering here but I think we're close to the end of the sickie road! I went to the Dr on Monday and she declared my lungs clear! Now I just have a nast sinus infection but the antiobiotics are already making me feel better! Princess Bear (PB) has had one heck of a week at school. The last 2 days she's come home with 0 stars. Not a good thing! I've taken away TV both days. She's also getting into a habit of "lying". Saying she hasn't done something or she has. I'm timing her out for those but it doesn't seem to be working. I'm nearing the end of my rope on this one! I think its because I'm still very tired & not feeling 100% but regardless not a good situation.

This week I planted all my greenhouse trays. I have 6 greenhouses with 72 places in each one. Each place received an average of 3 seeds. Next week I have to start clearing out the pea gravel. My friend Maria was going to help me tomorrow but her daughter is sick. I am very excited about the garden though and hope it turns out well. Here is what I can remember of the seeds: lettuce, spinach, peas, green beans, yellow squash, zucchini, beets, radish, corn, carrots, green onions, steak tomatoes, roma tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, basil, rosemary, lavender, dill, chives, catnip, mini pumpkins and champion pumpkins (they grow to around 100 lbs!)

My parents are going out of town tomorrow & I'm looking very forward to the break. Now if someone would just take my daughter for a few hours I'd be in heaven! Maria & I were going to do yard work in the afternoon and then we were going to have a potluck with my friend Jessi. I'm feeling a bit bummed that now the only thing on the books is PB's swim lesson.

Well that is the story here! If anyone as any gardening advice please share!

Sarah

Still here!

2009-04-04T23:12:00.001-05:00

Yep- Still here! Still alive. We're still sick though and I'm trying to get some rest. Yesterday my mom & I both went to the Dr. who says its completely viral and only time will help. He did put me on more prednisone since my breathing is so bad due to the virus. We've had this for over a month! I'm so sick of being sick!!! Today my best friend & I took Princess Bear and Katie (My best friends niece) to a fire station. Jessi (my best friend) is dating a firefighter & everytime PB's school went she's been sick. Andy really went all out & the girls had a blast! They got to ride in the truck, spray the hose & try on the helmet. Big fun was had by all. I'll try to post pics soon! Now I'm off to get some more barrettes ready for the salon and get some sleep!